This is an addition to one of my previous jokes, "Viola Jokes" http://wocka.com/17112.html. Now, instead of just viola jokes, here are several different instrument jokes. PIANO JOKES Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor. Q: What do you get when you drop a piano onto an army base? A: A flat major. Q: Why is an 11-foot concert grand piano better than a studio upright piano? A: Because it makes a much bigger "kaboom" when dropped off a cliff. FLUTE/PICCOLO JOKES Q: How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune? A: Shoot one. Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" The

Q: What's a cannibal? A: ǝןdoǝd ɥʇıʍ dn pǝɟ s,oɥʍ uosɹǝd ɐ

Teacher: Oh I really love my husband he's so cute and kind and everything! I will never do anything to hurt him. Jack: Looks like you really love your husband, teacher. Cara: It looks pretty obvious. After lunchtime the bell rang and everyone went to their classroom. When their teacher came... Teacher: Who keeps putting this ball pen on my table?! I will spill the ink to the one who keeps putting this thing. Cara: Ummm teacher a while ago your husband came and put that ball pen on your table, and he told me to remind you that that was the ball pen that you were looking for since last month.

Here is a guy that doesn't know English well that is going to a restaurant in Virginia: Waiter: Welcome sir, have a seat. The waiter sent him to a solo table. The guy: Happy birthday, sir! Waiter: It's not my birthday today. The guy: Oh I mean thank you sir. I don't really know how to speak English well. The waiter gave the guy the menu, but he didn't understand the things written. Then he heard a customer that is ordering food, and the guy thought of copying everything the customer is saying to the waiter. The waiter comes: Waiter: What would you want, sir? Customer: I would want the manager's special fried chicken, some whole wheat bread, and this fish salad. The guy: I do want a

In the morning elephants put springs on their feet and jump around the jungle. Now the most fearsome sound to a monkey is "Boing Boing"

Yo Momma so stupid when she heard the doorbell she opened the microwave and said "Hello???"

During a break at work, John and Steve are chit-chatting about what happened the previous night: John: "OK, well last night the wife and I decided to go see a play. I waited for 10 minutes downstairs for her to get ready, and we got on our way. So, we're driving down the street, when suddenly a car from oncoming traffic swerves into our lane! I quickly gripped the wheel, and turned out of the way. I hit the guardrail, so my car spun out, took 2 flips in the air, and landed in the ditch at the side of the road. But - guess what? My wife and I crawled out of the car WITHOUT a scratch. What do you think?" Steve: "I...I just can't believe it." John: "I know, right? Isn't it unbelievable how

They had quite a scare in Washington, DC, today. Apparently, President Obama was meeting with some potential cabinet nominees and someone noticed a suspicious looking document on the table that no one had ever seen before. Turns out it was just a tax form, but it gave them quite a fright. - Jay Leno

Joe figured out a way to remember his wife's birthday and their wedding anniversary. He opened an account with a florist and told him to send flowers to his wife on those dates, along with a note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by the attention, and all was great until one anniversary. Joe came home, saw the bouquet, kissed his wife, and said, "Nice flowers. Where'd you get them?"

The thing you need to focus on in your 20's is not getting a bad tattoo. You don't want to be 40 and going, "No, dude, it was different back then - everybody loved SpongeBob."

I have an 18-year-old; her name is Alexis. I chose that name because if I hadn't had her, I'd be driving one.

The reason grandparents and children get along so well is really quite simple: They have a common enemy.