Why do women have periods? Because they deserve them. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? A $100 bill. How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Let her do the dishes in the dark. What do toys and womens breasts have in common? They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them. What is love? The delusion that one woman differs from another. Monkeys and girls both are same. They fight only for bananas. Boys and rats are same; they search only for holes. Why did God create lesbians? So feminists couldn't breed. Why do women talk so much? Because they have two sets of lips. What's the difference between your

What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight? A power failure. Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be called hell. What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it. How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious fumes, and half the time they don't work. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game. How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. What's the best way to force a man to do situps? Put the remote control between his toes. How do you get a man to stop bit

Q: what do you call two lesbians floating down a river A: Fur Traders Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons. Q: Whats the difference between a lesbian driving in the fog and eating pussy? A: When u are eating pussy you can still see the asshole in front of you! Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? A: "I'll see you next month." Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience Q: Why don't fem lesbians go on dates? A: Because it's hard to eat Jenny Craig when you've go

Online dating is huge now. Everyone from EHarmony to Match.com have been benefitting from the surge in personals. But impersonal nature of online personals need a little clarifying. Below you'll find a guide to better enable yourself "Find That Special Someone" Female Beautiful Bulgarian girl = I need a green card Beautiful Ukranian girl = I need a green card Beautiful Romanian girl = I need a green card....possibly a gypsy I love doing yoga and running with my dog = a really good lay Athletic = No tits Spends too much time at work / Work Hard = I'm cheating on you and we haven't even met Beautiful = Pathological liar Contagious Smile = Takes a lot of pills Emotionally Secure = On medicati

A. Nell Retentive A. Nell Soars A. Nellsechs A. Nellsex A. Nelprober A.S. Muncher Adolf Oliver Nipple Alotta Fagina Amanda D. P. Throat Amanda Faulk Amanda Huginkiss Amanda Hump Amanda Lick Amanda Mount Amanda Poker Ana Linjector Anita B. Jainow Anita B. Jaynow Anita Bath Anita Beejay Anita Dick Anita Dickinme Anita Dump Anita Handjob Anita Hanjaab Anita Hardcock Anita Hardcok Anita Head Anita Hoare Anita Hummer Anita Jackoff Anita Mandelay Anita Masingil Anita Naylor Anita Pussy Anita Semen Anita Wackoff Anita Woody Anita Wyderbox Annie Position Anya Neeze Barry McCociner Barry McDikkin Ben Derhover Ben Dover Ben Gurgen Hoffe Ben N. Syder Ben O. Verbich Ben R. Over Benoit B

Are you an aspirin? Because I'd like to take you every 4 to 6 hours. There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount and take back to my place. Excuse me, are you hiring? I heard you have an opening you need filled. What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper. Do you like parties? Because you can climb up my pants and have a ball! If you were vanilla ice cream and I was hot caramel, I'd pour myself all over you. Here is $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me. Girl......you are like a tall glass of water, and I'm telling you str8 up I'm thirsty. If you were a word on a piece of paper you would read (fine pr

Q: What's red and goes up and down? A: A tomato in an elevator. Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A: We have to stick together. Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer. Q: When is a baseball player like a thief? A: When he steals a base. Q: What did the can say to the can opener? A: You make me flip my lid. Q: What is a volcano? A: A mountain with the hiccups. Q: What do you find at the end of everything? A: The letter "g". Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? A: He called a toe truck. Q: Why do two skunks argue? A: Because they like to kick up a stink. Q: What

Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say -What do you mean today's our anniversary? -I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste. -Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends". -The new girl in my office is a stripper...I invited her over for dinner on Friday. -Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way. -I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow. -I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy! -That was a great fart! Do another one! -God..if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust! -I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. -Can we not talk to each other tonight? -I'd rather just watch TV. -

If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.

Did you fart....Because you are blowing me away!!! My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z. Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours? Hey baby, have you fallen from heaven, because that would explain your face.. Can i buy you a drink? Because you look like an alcoholic. Do you believe in helping the homeless? (If yes) Take me home with you. I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated. Are you wearing a cow suit, or do you always look like a heiffer? Damn girrl did you get some lipo, your'e looking P H A T! Are you a frito cause your really corny How much do you weigh cause your lookin PHAT* Tell your mom to stop changing lipsticks cause my dick looks like a ra

Do you know what to say when someone is trying to roast you? "Sorry, but my brain doesn't interpret stupid."

Once there was a woman taking a shower when she heard a knock on door. A voice called, "It's me, the fireman." So the woman wrapped a towel around herself and went to the door. The fireman said, "Congratulate me, I just put out a fire!" So the woman congratulated him and went back to her shower. Then she heard another knock on her door and a voice called, "It's me, the policeman". So the woman wrapped a towel around herself and went to the door. The policeman said, "Congratulate me, I just caught a robber". So the woman congratulated him and went back to her shower. But before long she heard another knock on her door and a voice called, "It's me, the blind man," so she didn't bother putting