Personals

Online dating is huge now. Everyone from EHarmony to Match.com have been benefitting from the surge in personals. But impersonal nature of online personals need a little clarifying. Below you'll find a guide to better enable yourself "Find That Special Someone" Female Beautiful Bulgarian girl = I need a green card Beautiful Ukranian girl = I need a green card Beautiful Romanian girl = I need a green card....possibly a gypsy I love doing yoga and running with my dog = a really good lay Athletic = No tits Spends too much time at work / Work Hard = I'm cheating on you and we haven't even met Beautiful = Pathological liar Contagious Smile = Takes a lot of pills Emotionally Secure = On medication / Frequent Psychiatric Visits Feminist = Fat Free spirit = Junkie / Hippie Hopeless romantic = Wants a Ring Friendship first = Former slut Fun = Annoying New-Age = Body hair in the wrong places very goal oriented = She wants to wear the pants BA in psychology = I will be single forever Sensitive Girl = Insecure Adventurous = Slept with everyone Old-fashioned = No Blow Jobs Looking For A Man with ambition = Golddigger Mentions the word "Love" in any way shape or form = clingy Honest Eyes = I'll cheat on you and you'll never know....hehehehe Family is important to me = Father Issues Open-minded = Really Really Desperate Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing Passionate = Sloppy drunk Average looking = Ugly Spontaneous = Will Have Sex Anywhere Looking for a cowboy! = Take me....Take me nowwwwww! low maintenance girl = not very attractive and probably athletic = no tits no looks Fun-loving girl = gives it up a lot For a guy to make me laugh = depressed probably medicated Honest, intelligent, funny and just down to earth = probably none of the above Spiritual = a witch, possibly a vegetarian Voluptuous = Possibly Fat Large frame = One Large Woman Wants Soul mate = Stalker Looking for a nice guy = Been cheated on (Paranoid, Clingy) No Baby Daddy Drama = Baby Daddy Drama (Look out!) 30-ish = 35-45 40-ish = 49-54 Chivalry should not be dead! There's something to be said about how our parents courted = Princess....Only Child Very social = keep your good-looking friend away from this one I've been called a keeper = only calls herself a keeper Male Looking for a nice girl = Been cheated on (Paranoid, Clingy) Ambitious = Rich Family is important to me = Mother Issues Old fashioned gentleman = Oldddd. Really Olddddddd Renowned Psycologist = You'll be on medication inside of a week I've been called a keeper = only calls himself a keeper Open-minded = Really Really Desperate Adventurous & Open-minded = Swinger, possibly bi I want you to want me = Knows at least one song from the 80s Charming European accent = I will cheat on you, but its okay I have a Charming European accent "Bad boys need love too" = maybe a good lay, possibly has herpes (wickedly sarcastic) sense of humor = Will tell you your ugly and think its funny Big Teddy Bear = Really Really Big Lets go on a magic carpet ride = On the Sexual Offender list....check local website first Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing Exceptional = Probably average at best Look here! = You probably don't want to look there Moved back after a long time = I'm 30 and I live with my parents Voluptuous = Sex Change... Tranvestite No Baby Mama Drama = Baby Mama Drama (Look out!) I work at Budweiser = Un-employed I like to watch movies = Can't dance to save my life Out going, Independent Guy = Will not come home at night looking for the ms right = Mr. Wrong Adam looking for Eve = Bible Study begins at 8pm Tall guy = Big Schlong Sensitive Guy = Gay I cried watching the movie "Titanic" = Gay Searching for Treasure = "Let me guess it's around a female's chest!" Smart and quiet guy = "One Day I will be the Uni-Bomber"....don't look in my basement I love doing yoga and running with my dog = Really Really Really Gay I don't have an intro line = Not very interesting Soccer fanatic = White, preppy, possibly a snob Has no shirt in online personal pic = I'm masterbating right now Just want to meet good women = probably doesn't deserve one woman A man seeking sexy playmate = Has a lot of $1 bills