பைலட் மனைவி: ரொம்ப ஒசரத்தில பறக்கிறதா நெனப்போ..வாத்தியாரின் மனைவி: எந்தலையெழுத்து ஒங்களுக்கு பாடம் எடுத்தே நான் ஓய்ஞ்சி போயிட்டேன்..நடிகனின் மனைவி: ஒங்க நடிப்பையெல்லாம் வேற யார்கிட்டயாவது காமிங்க எங்கிட்ட வேண்டாம்...மின்சார வாரியத்தில் வேலைசெய்யும் கணவனின் மனைவி: ரொம்ப பண்ணுனீங்க அப்புறம் பீஸ புடுங்கி விட்ருவேன் ஆமா ...ஆடிட்டர் மனைவி: எல்லாம் ஞாபகம் வச்சிருக்கேன் ஒருநாள் ஒன்னோட கணக்க தீக்குறனா இல்லையா பார்...டிசைனரின் மனைவி: மூஞ்சில எம் பீச்சாங்கைய வெச்சேன்னு வையி மூஞ்சி ஷேப்பு மாறிடும் ஆமா..வெட்னரி டாக்டரின் மனைவி: மாடு மாறி மசமசனு நிக்காம போயி வேலய பாருங்க ...எஞ்சினியர் மனைவி: எல்லா பார்ட்ஸ்சையும் உறுவிப்புடுவேன் உறுவி ஆமா ...பல் டாக்டர் மனைவி: ஒண்ணு விட்டேன் வையி பல்லு பூராம் தெறிச்சிபுடு

Did you hear about the new dictionary for masochists? It has all the words, but they're not in alphabetical order.

You're so dumb you invented water proof tea bags!

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied... "My wife's first husband."

Poise: the ability to continue speaking fluently while the other fellow is picking up the cheque.

There were 3 tomatoes. A momma tomato, a papa tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato started to fall behind and the papa tomato called over to him and said, "Ketchup!"

Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if... your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob" he refers to Klingons as "Critters" he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns" he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section he says, "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies" he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it he says, "Yee-Ha!" instea

Two white horses fell in the mud and three came out.

All of the following town names are REAL: Long Dong (Guangxi, China) Blowhard (Australia) Pickles Gap (Arkansas) Petting (Germany) Mount Mee (Australia) Titting (Germany) Lickdale (Pennsylvania, USA) Yocumtown (Pennsylvania, USA) Fugit (Kentucky, USA) Assinippi (Massachusetts, USA) Big Cockup and Little Cockup (England) Cocktown (Wexford, Ireland) Sally's Gap (Ireland) Dick Johnson (Indiana, USA) Beaver Bottom (Kentucky, USA) Black Butte (Oregon, USA) Sandy Balls (England) Tilicum (Washington, USA) Cockburn (Australia) Bangor (Wales) Dyckesville (Wisconsin, USA) Ballville (Ohio, USA) Prickwillow (England) Black Charlie's Opening (England) Kinmount (Ontario, Canada)

Three guys are about to be executed and they are asked what they wish to have for their last meal. The Italian responds, Pepperoni Pizza, which he is served and then executed. The Frenchmen requests a Fillet Mignon, which he is served and then executed. The Newf requests a plate of strawberries. "STRAWBERRIES ????" "Yes, Strawberries." He is told, "But they are out of season!" "So, I'll wait."

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?