Starship Captain

Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if... your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob" he refers to Klingons as "Critters" he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns" he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section he says, "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies" he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it he says, "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage" he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba" he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster" he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens he paints the starship John Deere green he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special" he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp" his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen" his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies he sets phaser to "Cajun"