Popular Jokes
- The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.
- Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.
- Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.
- All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.
- Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.
- Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.
- A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
- Contralto is a low sort of mus
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - she is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She has not BEEN AROUND - she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - she commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - she is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIR HEAD - she is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - she achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - she is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - she has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not NAG YOU - she becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
A Welsh girl called Gwyneth visited Japan recently. There, people had problems pronouncing her name so she became Gwyniss. Everywhere she went, she was greeted with tremendous respect. At a farewell reception, her host said, "We've been so excited to have a famous author in our midst." "What am I supposed to have written?" she asked, baffled.
"Why, The Gwyniss Book of Records."
A king and a queen were ruling a kingdom together, but they weren't friends at all. The king hated the queen, and the queen hated the king.
The queen had a disorder, which had no name. When you asked her a two-way question (e.g. true or false) she will answer the word she heard last, so if you ask her, "Do you need water to live, true/false," you know what she'll answer.
The city they ruled over was a bad city, there were crimes almost every hour. They had to be responsible over the town.
One day, someone murdered the King's son, and was trying to find out who had done it. He announced to the town, "The one who killed my son, will be hanged, no matter who you are!"
People searched and se
My mother has a "lead foot," so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were speeding through Georgia.
Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when the trooper walked up to the car.
"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.
"What do they usually do, ma'am?" he asked, "shoot the tires out?"
17. "I finished the Oreo's."
16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."
15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby."
14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."
13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl."
12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
9. "I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
8. "Are your ankles supposed to look l
What is the difference between a chicken?
Neither can ride a bicycle.
அடேய்!டேய் ரொம்ப குளிருது டா சொன்னத செய்டா...!?கொஞ்சம் இருங்கப்பா அதை தான் கூகுள்ல தேடிட்டு இருக்கேன்...என்ன கூகுள் லயா...!?ஆமாப்பா... இதுவரைக்கும் நிலாவுக்கு அமெரிக்கா ரஷ்யா சீனா இந்தியா இந்த நாலு நாடுகள் ராக்கெட்ட அனுப்பி இருக்கு...சரிடா...!நிலாவுக்கு 12 பேர் போய் வந்திருக்காங்க அத்தனை பேரும் அமெரிக்க காரனுங்க...!சரிடா அதுக்கு இப்ப என்ன...!?அதான்பா... நிலாவுக்கு மொத்தமா 72 தடவ ராக்கெட்ங்க போயிருக்கு... ஏழு தடவை மனுஷனுக்கு போய் இறங்கி இருக்காங்க 21 தடவை ரோவர் மாதிரியான ஆராய்ச்சி வாகனம் நிலவில் இறங்கி ரவுண்ட்ஸ் போய் வந்து இருக்கு...அட... இதை ஏன்டா இப்ப என்கிட்ட சொல்லிட்டு இருக்க...!?இருப்பா.. நிலாவுல ஒரு பொருள கொண்டு போய் வைக்கணும்னா தோராயமா 500 கோடி ரூபாய் செலவாகுமாம்... உன்கிட்ட 500 கோடி இ
Your momma is so poor I saw her kicking a cardboard box down the street and when I asked her what she was doing she said "Moving!"
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