How to be Politically Correct With Women I

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - she is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT. She has not BEEN AROUND - she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - she commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE. She does not GO SHOPPING - she is MALL FLUENT. She is not an AIR HEAD - she is REALITY IMPAIRED. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - she achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY. She is not COLD or FRIGID - she is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE. She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - she has reached COSMETIC SATURATION. She does not NAG YOU - she becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.