"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield "And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago" - David Coleman, Sportscaster "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. "Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." - Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated "The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hi

How can you tell if a blonde has been in your fridge? There is lipstick on the cucumber

One day Barney was driving his "Drugmobile" down the street and a cop pulled him over, said; "Something screwy is goin' on here, hey don't I know you!" and was about to put handcuffs on Barney but, Barney quickly said: "Oh crap, there's a J-Walker" and ran away to his drug mobile. The cop said: "Come here J-Walker". "Works every time" Barney said as he drove away.

There was a girl named Rachel. She had a cat named Love. One day, Rachel was taking a shower. When she got out, she yelled for her cat, Love, but saw that the cat had escaped. She was still in her towel but she walked outside anyways. A cop pulled around the corner and said, "Excuse me, Miss. What are you doing out here?" Rachel replied, "Looking for Love!!!"

What has wheels and flies? Answer: Garbage truck

You know we all have those moments and I'm going to share a few of them with you. At lunch I was going crazy looking for my purse. It was literally right in front of me...on the table. My friend across from me suddenly said "Where's Tina?" She was sitting right next to her. I was having a conversation with my friend on the bus and five seconds later I couldn't remember what it was about. I still can't Maybe it was about bread.... When people lose their cell phones why don't they just call them? Even if they're on vibrate you can still hear them a little bit..... At work I'm constantly trying to give change in dimes instead of just using a quarter....I know not that bad but yea. I had t

Do you know why there are no Wal-Marts in Iraq? Because there are so many Targets.

this site is awesome! look 4 the difference between the pics! http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf

Submit a joke = I'm a but jokes That's so stupid = Sadist puts hot .................................. Bonus jokes with my fur = Joy! Swift knob humerus let's hear a joke = Jerk tease halo (If you guys want that I anagram a sentence you like then post it on the comment box. But only from 7 letters to 30 letters!)

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Talk about anything you want here. O.K. I will. You really need to quit submitting jokes like this. Anybody agree with me?

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness' but it doesn't work.