DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT

Acme Rope, Inc. - Knot your ordinary company. Acme Mine Shafts - Drop in any time Acme Lollipops - One lick and you'll stick with us. Acme Light Company - We have lots of bright ideas. Acme Clown Make-up - Let us put a smile on your face. Acme Perfume Corp. - We love it when business stinks. Acme Air Conditioning - We show people how to chill out. Acme Toy Company - Our work is kids' play. Acme Perfume Company - Our work is all dollars and scents. Acme Almond Company - We're nuts! Acme Sheep Farm - Our mind is on ewe. Acme Calculators - We help you solve your problems. Acme Flower Bulbs - We root for you. Acme Psychologists - Visit us and you won't go away mad! Acme Poultry Ma

How did Hellen Keller's mother punish her??? rearranging her furniture.

Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! that's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" GENERAL REIN

It is illegal to stick coins in your ears in the state of Hawaii.

Here are more funny thoughts from www.crazythoughts.com. Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit? Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down? Why is a square meal served on round plates? Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1? Which way does a compass point in space? Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked? Why do all superheroes wear spandex? If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes? Why did Mary own a

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy

Did you here about the giant with a nosebleed? It was all over town

A guy goes into a diner, and when the waitress comes over to take his order, he says, "I want eggs, toast, and coffee. But make the eggs uncooked, the toast burnt, and the coffee really strong and bad. And I want you to slam the food onto the table and yell at me." The waitress says "Why would you want me to something like that?" He replies, "I'm homesick."

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase "secure the building". The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

A man and a woman have a child, and they need a crib, so they go to a crib factory store. This family is really poor, and they can only find cribs for $300. Then they find a crib for $20. They go up to the cashier and ask why. The cashier says its because it is cursed. The man and woman ask how it is cursed. The cashier replies, "After the 1st week of owning the crib, the mother of the child will die. After the 2nd week of owning the crib the child will die. And after the 3rd week the father of the child will die.(remember that last sentance) The man and woman decide they don't believe the cashier, so they buy the crib anyway. A week goes by, and the woman dies. The man weeps. Another week g

Two blondes were building a house. One saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out. She thought that this was weird and decided to look into. "Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?" "Well, when I pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the house, I nail it in. If it is facing away from the house, it is defective and I throw it away." "You idiot, those nails aren't defective, they are for the other side of the house."