Billy Bob caught his friend Bubba searching high and low all around his living room. Billy Bob said, "What are you searching for?" Bubba replies, "Hidden cameras!" "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?" says Billy Bob. Bubba said, "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why, every few minutes he says, 'You are watching MTV!' How does he know that?"

A man is just about to break a record. Suddenly, a dog jump up and bites him on the neck. Q: Is the dog owned by the former record keeper? A: Yes. Q: Did the former record keeper intend this to stop other people from breaking his record? A: Yes. The murderer doesn't want other people to break his record. Therefore, he has trained his dog, so that when the dog hears someone speaking the last digits of pi that the murderer can recite, it will bite him to death.

The discovery that Bush's resting heart rate is 43 has led some observers to speculate that this is the first time we've had a president with a heart rate that matches his IQ.

A masked man all of a sudden gave a beggar 1 million dollars. Man: Why did you give me so much money? Masked Robber: I steal from the rich and give to the poor. Man: I'm rich! Masked Robber: Okay give me all your money.

Can you decipher the following common phrase? AND ED Underhanded!

Here is snippet of section A of the curious multiple-choice entrance exam into the exclusive puzzle club. 1. The first question with B as the correct answer is: A. 1 B. 4 C. 3 D. 2 2. The answer to Question 4 is: A. D B. A C. B D. C 3. The answer to Question 1 is: A. D B. C C. B D. A 4. The number of questions which have D as the correct answer is: A. 3 B. 2 C. 1 D. 0 5. The number of questions which have B as the correct answer is: A. 0 B. 2 C. 3 D. 1 1. C 2. D 3. B 4. C 5. B

Got some more Redneck lines . . . You know you're a Redneck when: More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business. You think the stock market has a fence around it. Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight. You have a Ku Klux Klan uniform somewhere in your trailer. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. Your amount of children is more than the amount of Oompa Loompas in Willy Wonka's factory. Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs. Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool. You ke

Yo momma so ugly the plastic surgeon sued her.

There was a blonde in Wal-mart and she went up to a man. The blonde said, "Hi! Do you know what IDK means?" The man said, "I don't know." Then the blonde said, "DARN! Nobody knows!"

Why do you go to a black person's yard sale? To get your stuff back!

Your dad has something wrong with his brain. After his appointment, the doctor says,"You have a spider, a termite, a pig, a cloud, a piece of poo, a tongue, and a camera in your brain so you'll have to have no brain for years." Then the doctor took operation on his brain.

A blonde mother runs her own daycare business. She has two of her own kids and has about 15 kids in her daycare. One day the blonde takes the children to the park to play, when a brunette walks up and notices the blonde and her daycare kids. She goes to the blonde and asks her, "Are all these kids yours?" The blonde replies, "No, I have two of my own." The brunette proceeds to ask which two are the blonde's. The blonde laughs and says. "My kids go to the YMCA daycare center." The brunette asks in a puzzled voice, "Why are they there when you run your own daycare?" The blonde looks at her and says, "Because I can't afford what I charge."