There was an foreign man who knew a little english and lived in a hotel. One day he told the waitress "I wanta fuck" the waitress said "what!!!" I wanta fuck, I wanta fuck on the table." The waitress answered and said "you better not you son of a bitch" so the waitress left mad and never gave him a fork. The next day he went to the manager and said "I wanta shit" the manager said "what!!!" "I wanta shit, I wanta shit on my bed" the manager answered "you better not you son of a bitch" and he never got the sheet he wanted.

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper." The father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper in my ear."

What did the lunch lady say to the boiled egg? You're in hot water now!!!

What I Want in a Man, Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head) 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens more than talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries 10. Seeks romance at least once a week What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42) 1. Not too ug

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day." Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address or

A wealthy man had a falling out with his two sons. It was serious enough that he decided to change his will. At his lawyer's office, he threw his will on the table and said, "This needs an heircut."

Due to high demmand, I will not maker you wait for all 50 states to come out, instead, here is ALL OF THE 51 states of laws. Alabama • A 1950 anti-obscenity law in Irondale, Ala., prohibited any showing of anyone nude or "in a substantially nude state" except a babe in arms. • Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street. • An ordinance in Linden, Ala., provided that all women of "uncertain chastity" had to be off the streets by 9 p.m. • Bear wrestling matches are prohibited. • Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. • Children of incestuous couples are deemed legitimate. • Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. • Hunting is not allowed on Sunday. • Ince

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

~குடிச்சு குடிச்சு கை நடுங்குது டாக்டர்....கவலைப்படாதீங்க உங்க குடிப்பழக்கத்தை நிறுத்திடலாம்.......கை நடுக்கத்தை மட்டும் நிறுத்துங்க டாக்டர் சரக்கு சிந்துதுடாக்டர் : ?????

A man and a woman are having an intimate dinner in a restaurant when their waitress, standing a few tables away, watches as the man quietly slides all the way down his chair and out of sight. The woman across from him seems to not notice.The waitress comes over and says, "Excuse me, Ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman says, "No he didn't, he just walked in the door."

A burglar had just broken into a house and was stealing anything he could get his hands on. Then he heard a voice. It said, "Jesus is watching you." Thinking its in his head he continues on his business. Then he hears it again, "Jesus is watching you." The burglar not very religious but still scared says, "Who are you?" Then he flipped on the light not caring if he was caught by the house owners. All he sees is a parrot in the corner. The parrot then says, "Jesus is watching you." The burglar asks the parrot his name. The parrot replied, "Satan." The burglar laughs and says, "Who would name their parrot Satan?" The parrot says, "Same person who would name their rottweiler Jesus."

Yo Mama is so fat that when she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.