Popular Jokes
THE ADVENTURE BEGINS:
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head
to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem."
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000' foot
drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as Gerry falls all the way to the bottom,
killing himself stone
She frowned and called him Mr.
Because in sport he kr.
And so in spite
That very night
The Mr. kr. sr.
Sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale, Arizona
1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down.
4. Avoid a quick back swing.
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please...while others are preparing to go.
10. Don't take extra strokes.
Well done - Now flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.
What's grosser than gross?
When you find a used tampon in your ketchup bottle.
Yo mama is so nasty she's got to pour sand down her pants to keep the crabs happy!
மனைவி : ஏங்க, தீபாவளிக்கு நீங்க எனக்கு 10,000 ரூபாய் பட்டுப்புடவை வாங்கிக் கொடுக்குற மாதிரி கனவு கண்டேன்.கணவன்: ஓ அப்படியா? கனவுல நீ அந்த புடவைய கட்டி, நாம் தீபாவளி கொண்டாடிடலாம், நமக்கு செலவு மிச்சம், சரியா?மனைவி: ???
One day a blonde was in a store, and saw a sign advertising a huge TV sale. She goes up to the salesman, and points to a shelf and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The man says "No."
The blonde, assuming its because he hates blondes, goes home and dyes her hair brown. She goes back to the store and asks again, only to again be told again, "No."
She goes home dies her hair black, and returns yet again. She asks for the TV, and is told "No, go home you blonde!"
So she finally snaps and cries, "I've died my hair twice!How the hell do you know I'm blonde?"
The salesman replies, "That's a microwave."
The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently issued this warning...
"Warning: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. We advise outdoorsmen to wear noisy little bells on their clothing, so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognise the difference between black bear and grizzly bear manure: Black bear manure is sma
A guy receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the upper corner of the stadium; he's closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter he sees through his binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sits down he ask the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man says no. Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, he again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incr
Christmas Italian Style
'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella
Not a creature was stirrin',
Cuz I had a gun unda my pilla.
When up on da roof
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"
When what to my
Wonderin' eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin' reindeer!
Wit' slicked back black hair,
And a silk red suit,
Don Santa wuz here,
And he brought all da loot!
Wit' a slap to dare snouts,
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And he called dem by name.
"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"
As I drew out my gun
And hid by da b
A little girl and her mother were out and about when, out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"
The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."
The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"
Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."
The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."
The little girl, fr
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