It was often said that if an African American was ever voted in to be the President of the United States, that would be the the day that pigs fly. 100 days after President Barack Obama is in office, swine flu.

A special kind of firework with very bright colors and little smoke was accidentally discovered when a man tried to make the atomic bomb safer. That defeats the original purpose.

A rabbi and a Catholic priest are having lunch in a restaurant. The priest's food arrives, a scrumptious-looking ham entrée. The priest attacks his lunch, savouring every bite of the ham. Noticing the rabbi eyeing him, he asks, "So tell me, Rabbi Goldblum, have you ever had any pork before?" The rabbi hesitates. "Well, it's not for me to say..." The priest pushes on. "Oh, c'mon, Rabbi. We're both men of God here. We can tell each other our sins. Nothing to it." "Umm... well, yes, as a matter of fact, I did have pork once." Smugly the priest teases him, "And a fine meat it was, wasn't it? Heheh." "Yeah, I'll say." A few moments pass. The rabbi asks the priest: "Tell me Father, have you ever

An old Jewish man was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to emigrate to Israel. When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin. Customs: What is that? Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The genius who thought up this worker's paradise! The official laughed and let the old man through. The old man arrived at Tel Aviv airport, where an Israeli customs official found the bust of Lenin. Customs: What is that? Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The sonofabitch! I will put him on display in my toilet for all the years he

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments: Exposure A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds, even pigeons, avoided this potential source of substance. Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam

Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union the same as there is in the USA? In principle, yes. In the USA, you can stand in front of the White House in Washington, DC, and yell, "Down with Reagan!" and you will not be punished. Just the same, you can stand in the Red Square in Moscow and yell, "Down with Reagan!" and you will not be punished.

"Comrade Stalin! This man is your exact double!" / "Shoot him!" / "Maybe we should shave off his moustache?" / "Good idea! Shave it off and then shoot him!". (In another version, Stalin replies shortly Ili tak [lit. or so], meaning "this way is ok too", which has become somewhat proverbial).

Attempting to enter a case-sensitive password with caps-lock on. Not checking to ensure that the computer is indeed plugged in. Clicking Yes on message boxes without reading them properly and deleting important files. Forgetting to plug an ethernet cable into their laptop's network card when in the office. Allowing sessions to timeout when using a web application. Erroneous data entry.

I think my smartphone is broken. I keep pressing the Home button, but I'm still working.

What is a 4 letter sport that starts with a T? Golf. (Golf starts with a tee!)

ஒரு தம்பதியினர் தங்களது 25 - வது திருமண நாளை கொண்டாடினர்கணவருக்கு உணவு பரிமாறிக்கொண்டே மனைவி கேட்டாள்"என் சமையலில் இப்போது வித்தியாசம் தெரிகிறதா ? ""ஆம் தெரிகிறது "என்று கணவர் சொன்னார்" என்ன வித்தியாசம் தெரிகிறது ? "என்று மனைவி கேட்டாள்"முன்னாடி சாப்பாட்டுல கருப்பு முடி கிடக்கும் இப்போ வெள்ளை முடிகிடக்குது " என்றார் கணவர்அதன்பின் தன் மனைவியின் ருத்ர தாண்டவத்தை ரசித்துப் பார்த்தார்

Your momma so old and fat when God said let there be light, he asked your momma to move the hell out of the way because she was blocking the sun.