Category Jokes - One Liner
How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer, Olive?
Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."
What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
"I don't like sprouts"!
I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness' but it doesn't work.
Hey, did you hear about the...
Paper company that folded?
Brake company on the skids?
Bra manufacturers that went bust?
Surgeon who was forced to take a cut in his salary?
Cigarette company that went up in smoke?
Baker who was short of dough?
Refrigerator manufacturer that had its assets frozen?
Corset firm that felt the squeeze?
Upholsterers that couldn't cover their costs?
Adhesive tape company that got into a sticky situation?
Tennis ball manufacturer that ended up in court?
Downfall of the bungee suppliers?
The train company that went off the rails?
The ship building company that sunk?
The dental practice that was rotten to its roots?
What do you do when you're lonely on an Alaskan cruise?
Answer: Go to the window and yell "whale"
1. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
2. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
3. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
Mental backup in progress - Do not disturb!
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
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