Yo Momma so short, when she saw a set of stairs she said, "I never knew Mount Everest was here." Yo Momma so short, she called a dolls house a set of flats!

Yo momma so fat, that when she went on Biggest Loser, she she couldn't get kicked out when she destroyed the stage.

Yo momma so fat that, on the airplane, she smothered the person next to her to death - who was on the aisle seat.

Me: Do you wanna hear a good joke? Amy: Yes! Me: Me too!

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0. No lightbulbs want to torture their own kind!

Knock knock. Who's there? Guess. Guess who? What, I don't know.

A woman's child said, "Yo Mama, I hate you because you made me a boy, not a girl!" The woman said, "Wait! If you were a girl, someone would have to cut into you to get your baby!" The child said "Have you lost your mind?! I want the baby to know that she/he was from me!"

Your dad has something wrong with his brain. After his appointment, the doctor says,"You have a spider, a termite, a pig, a cloud, a piece of poo, a tongue, and a camera in your brain so you'll have to have no brain for years." Then the doctor took operation on his brain.

Knock-Knock Who's there? Who's There. Who's there Who? I'm supposed to say Who's there!

"That guy looks like Jesus... and so does his friend.. did Jesus have a twin?" "No, at least.. I dont think he did.. never thought about it" "Oh, well. Twins are awesome... hey, why is Jesus walking into our school? *gasp* what if he rapes us all?! JESUS IS A PEDO!" "Calm down, Jesus isn't a pedo, he loves kids!" "Gee, that helps"

Funny Signs: Tailor's Shop: Ladys have fits upstairs. Restaurant: People who find the waitresses rude ought to see the manager. Restaurant: We serve people like you as good food! Mall: The lift is being fixed today. We regret that for the next 24 hours you will be unbearable. Muffler Store: No appointment necessary, we will hear you coming. Restaurant: Today's Special - Soup $5.00, Dessert $3.50, Children, $4.00. Zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, please give it to the guard on duty.

One day a cat was being trapped be a evil dog. The evil dog said"barkity kalis hed resaw miop gas." The cat said "has that going to break the spppeeel?" Then the dog let the cat out. The next day, the cat trapped the dog. Then it happens every day with thhe same words.