WARNING:DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE OR EAT OR GO POTTY! A person named tommy had a wife named heather. Whenever Heather came home, She would bring something disguisting. When heather died in a war, Tommy was sad. He said to himself, I MUST DIE IN A TOILET INSTEAD!

Well both the girl and the emo bleed blood and both of them are annoying as hell in the process.

One night a bartender who was working at a local joint was very drunk. His fiancee left him a long time ago and he was very desperate so he started using alcohol as a substitute. A little later that night a blond walked in late at night and sat down. The blond was cute young and very flirty. So a little later she started flirting with the bartender. He started to get the drift that she was flirting and started flirting very heavily with her back. A little later she felt something and before she could stand to go to the restroom she had her period right there she quickly sat back and felt mortified praying the bartender did not notice anything. He didn't so she started ordering lots of

A vertical expression of a horizontal desire.

One day a man was sitting on a toilet with his solar power laptop, then his laptop fell in the toilet. He ran out of the bathroom screaming. The next person sat down to use the toilet. When he was done, he stood up looked at the toilet and screamed out of the bathroom. All the people in the bathroom ran out of the bathroom screaming.

Both are attractive cost about $400 for 2 or 12 hours of fun. But right when you're satisfied you get addicted to them, And keep wasting money replacing em.

If winners never quit, and quitters never win... Who was the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead".

Doctor, doctor. I think I need glasses. You sure do, sir. This is a flower shop.

Ok Umm Uhh, Ahhh! Oh well, I just forgot what I was gonna say. Man I'm stupid

A kid named Ron lost his mom and dad. He went to the hospital to say, "I wanna baby! Waaaaaaaaaaa!" The nurse said, "You're a male! Males don't have babies! And you're too young!" He died by biting his finger really hard.

I plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow. You know, if I looked like you, then I'd probably be plastering make-up on, too. You looked in a mirror lately? You're just jealous - weighing 10 stone is a big achievement. You remind me of a person I once knew. He was called the Hulk. If you are wondering why I'm napping, it's because you always want us to be wide awake. If I nap now, I'll be awake later. Now let me sleep. Well, well, well. Looks like the latest circus freak just escaped. Why am I in free dress? Well, that's the benefit of being the boss.

. . . they only tell who's left.