# 31 Canola oil is actually rapeseed oil but the name was changed in Canada for marketing reasons. # 32 The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA. # 33 The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb # 34 1 in 2000 babies are born with a tooth that is already visible. # 35 The straw was probably invented by Egyptian brewers to taste in-process beer without removing the fermenting ingredients which floated on the top. # 36 The New York Stock Exchange started out as a coffee house. # 37 Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unw

How you get rid of grey hairs: 1. Dye all your hair the color grey. 2. Shave your head. 3. Now you have no grey hairs.

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

Yo Momma's so stupid, that I told her to do the robot, and damn! Now R2-D2 got AIDS!

Help.... The Titanic is going to sink. Everybody on the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God... Just then an Italian asks a nearby blond on the ship, Italian: "How far is land from here?" Blond: "Two miles." Italian: "Only two miles? Then why are these fools making so much noise? I can swim even further." The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the surface to ask something again. Italian: "Just tell me which side is the land two miles from here?" Blond: "Downwards......"

Blond's Letter to Bill Gates Dear Mr. Bill Gates, This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice. 1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is. 2. We

A plain computer illeterate SARDAR rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty. Tech: What's the problem? Sardaar: There is smoke coming out of the power supply. Tech: You'll need a new power supply. Sardaar: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files. Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it. Sardaar: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command. 10 minutes later, the Sardaar is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up. Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command

Which dog doesn't have a tail? Hot dogs, of course.

Q: What is the President Bush's new fitness program to get people walking again? A: GAS at $3/gallon Q: When visiting India what did George W think upon seeing a woman with a red dot on her forehead? A: Holy Shit!!!! She must've been hunting with Cheney Q: Whats the best birthday gift you can give to George W? A: An Exit Strategy from Iraq Q: Why is George Bush giving tax cuts like Jim Jones giving Kool-Aid? A: It tastes good but it'll kill you. Q: What would happen if George W Bush had selected the court in 1954? A: Clarence Thomas would have never got to law school." Q: Why did the Iraqi women shave there fannies? A: To send a message out "No more Bush" Q: George W. Bush is now

Q: If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... A: Does that mean that one enjoys it?

Did You Know .... Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a crappy outlook on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass, and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. What is Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner. What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said, "You should have asked me last night, it was at the tip of my tongue." What has got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog! What kind of bees produce milk? Boobies. What do you call an Afghan virgin? Mever bin laid on. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopuss. When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? When he is standing next to your miss telling her her hair smells nice. Why did