Bushie

Q: What is the President Bush's new fitness program to get people walking again? A: GAS at $3/gallon Q: When visiting India what did George W think upon seeing a woman with a red dot on her forehead? A: Holy Shit!!!! She must've been hunting with Cheney Q: Whats the best birthday gift you can give to George W? A: An Exit Strategy from Iraq Q: Why is George Bush giving tax cuts like Jim Jones giving Kool-Aid? A: It tastes good but it'll kill you. Q: What would happen if George W Bush had selected the court in 1954? A: Clarence Thomas would have never got to law school." Q: Why did the Iraqi women shave there fannies? A: To send a message out "No more Bush" Q: George W. Bush is now under treatment for what two problems? A: Electile dysfunction and premature congratulation Q: Why can George W Bush run for a third term as president? A: Because the Supreme Court said if you count his vacation time, he's barely served one." Q: Why did George Bush and Andy Card agree that Andy could no longer have a cabinent position? (Andy Card is the Chief Of Staff, who originally told George W Bush the country was under attack on 9/11) A1: Because he doesn't promote inhumane torture (Attorney General: Alberto Gonzales) A2: Because he didn't originally provide body armor to our troops in Iraq (Secretary of Defense: Donald Rumsfield) A3: Because he didn't fuck up the government handling of Katrina (Homeland Security Chief: Michael Chertoff) A4: He didn't expose any CIA Agents (Carl Rove) A5: He didn't shoot old men in the face (Vice President Dick Cheney) Q: What did George Bush do when he heard about the devastation of Katrina? A: Out of force of habit he got out a copy of 'My Pet Goat' and started reading it Q: What happened when George Bush said Global Warming is happening at a faster pace then he expected? A: A cabinent member pulled him aside and told him not to worry it's spring time. Q: Why did George Bush free us from the green jackboot of the Kyoto Protocol. A: Global warming means better tans. Q: What did George Bush say when asked about giving Amnesty to illegals? A: Its absolutely terrible when one loses their memory illegal or legal. Q: Why did Dubya finally tell Karl Rove "Enough is Enough? A: He ruined the United 93 movie for him by leaking the ending . Q: Why is George W Bush only speaking to the Amish? A: Because they are the only group not upset about the high gas prices! Q: How do you know George W Bush is not planning on invading Iran? A: Hmm....he might very well invade Iran, but there won't be any planning involved. Q: How does the Bush administration plan to fix social security? A: By taking the word SECURITY out of it. Q: When meeting Chinese President Hu, how did George W say the two countries are growing closer? A1: Chinese are slowing being given the civil liberties, Americans take for granted A2: Americans are moving towards the Chinese system of spying on its people without warrants A3: Americans are utilizing the Chinese policy of putting people in jail without a fair trial A4: The Americans are talking about building a Great Wall (Mexico/America) Q: Why did President Bush's second inaugural celebration cost $40 million? A: Because his twin daughters insisted on an open bar. Q: Why is it alright for George W to start drinking again? A: 'Well, why not? He's got everybody else drinking.'" Q: What is George W Bush's new motto? A: Give me liberty or give me death." and if all else fails we'll send FEMA Q: What's the sad truth about George W Bush's poll numbers? A: More people believe Elvis is alive then in George W Q: Whats the difference between George W Bush and the Titanic? A: No matter how bad things get, nobody can sink George W's ship! Q:Why did Bin Ladin stop having sex with his wife? A:Because everytime he would spread her legs he saw Bush! Q: Why does Laura Bush (Presidents Wife) always get on top? A: ...Because George Bush can only fuck up. Q: Why is George W a big fan of Palestinian president Abbas? A: He absolutely loves his hit song, Dancing Queen." Q: What is the difference between the George W and Clinton's administration? A: George W has a trouble controlling his generals and Clinton had trouble controlling his privates Q: Why is Karl Rove was under fire again today? A: For leaking the plot of the new Harry Potter book to U.S. President Bush? Q: Why is the Bush administration so bad at creating jobs? A: Because they can barely hold onto the ones that they have! Q: What's the difference between George W Bush and an average student? A: An Average student can't find Iraq on a Map, George W can get out of Iraq Q: What happens if Bush's popularity falls any further A: He'll become a Democrat Q: What did President Bush do when Ryan Secrest said 62 million people voted in the American Idol finale? A: He went out and bought a karaoke machine Q: Why is Hurricane Rita Bush's worst nightmare? A: An electric chair with no power! Q: How is George W similar to the Peanuts character Pigpen? A: Wherever he goes, he stirs up such a humongous mess, it can only be cleaned up by Halliburton. Q: What did George W ask the Louisiana National Guard when visiting the destruction from Katrina? A: Does this visit count toward the service time I still owe the National Guard. Q: What can't George W do while in the White House? A1: Imprision US Citizens without a trial (...in the name of national security) A2: Wiretap citizens of the country even though other laws state that you can't A3: Go to war without a declaration from congress