The first TV network kids show in the U.S. was "Captain Kangaroo." Before 1687 clocks were made with only an hour hand. There are towns named Sandwich in Illinois and Massachusetts. Caterpillars have over 2,000 muscles.

The first typewriter was called the "literary piano." Frogs can't swallow with their eyes open. A duck's quack doesn't echo. August has the highest percentage of births.

Why do you Drive on the Parkway but Park on the Driveway?

A bear was bought from a Russian circus by a tourist agent after he was asked to provide an American visitor with a "wild bear hunt". The tourist was taken to the Perdelkino Forest near Moscow and when all was ready, the bear was released. As the hunter closed in on his prey, a postman passed by on his bike, saw the bear, and tumbled off in surprise. Recalling his Big Top training, the bear grabbed the bike and pedalled off, leaving the American to sue for fraud.

In February 1993 a train knocked down and injured an elephant calf in the Sylhet region of Bangladesh. When the next train came along an hour later the calf's mother blocked the track, then banged her forehead against the engine for 15 minutes, until it could no longer run. Then she walked off into the jungle again, leaving about 200 passengers stranded for over five hours. A man driving to work through the southern desert of Saudi Arabia ran over one of a troupe of monkeys. When he made the return trip later that day, the remaining monkeys were waiting for him. They spotted his car, jumped on it, and smashed the windows with their fists.

Sign in a realtor's office: "Lots for little." Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step." Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write." Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog." Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager." Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further." Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: "Get a long little doggie!"

Sign on the inside of a bathroom stall: "Beware of limbo dancers." A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: "Today's special." Below, it says: "So's tomorrow." Sign in school: "In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended." Sign seen on an electricity pylon: "DANGER! To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted." Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything, gas is!" Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station: "Closed for official opening."

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims! What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called? Turkey feathers. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes - a building can't jump at all. Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks. Where did the first corn come from? The stalk brought it. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Yo momma's so fat, that when she went to the doctor, he did an ultrasound test.

One day, a six year old blonde came up to her mother and said: "When I grow up, I want to be a Hillary Duff, she's amazing!" lol, only a blonde would say that.

One day, Mr. Dorren's first grade class was learning the alphabet. One of his students came up to Mr. Dorren and asked to go to the bathroom. Mr. Dorren said, "First, recite the alphabet." The student started, "A, B... ... L, M, N, O, Q..." When he finished, Mr. Dorren asked, "Where's the 'P'?" "Running down my legs." replied the student.

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots So the sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up he asks, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?" Cowboy: "Well, it's like this, Sheriff. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little redhead asks me to go out to her motor home with her, and I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt, so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants, so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts, so I did. Then she gets on the bed