byuuyntfifgjrfnbrft9tn ...told you so.

How do you confuse an Irishman? Line 4 shovels up against a wall and tell him to take his pick.

Why did the Irish people jump on the bartender? He said, "The drinks are on me."

4 Mexicans are in a car. Who is driving? A policeman. What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak. There is a Mexican, a French, a Italian, and an American. Their boat was getting too heavy so they decided to throw off some cargo. The Frenchmen tossed off a bottle of wine. All the others yelled, "What are you doing?" He replied, "We have too many of these in our country." Next, the Italian threw off a pizza. All the others yelled, "What are you doing?" He replied, "We got too many of these in our country." After that the Mexican threw off a bunch of tacos. All the others yelled, "What are you doing?" He replied, "We have too many of these in our country." Finally,

A little girl went into the barber shop to get a haircut. When the barber was cutting her hair he realized she was eating a little debbie snack. He said, "Sweetie, you're going to get hair on your twinkie." The little girl answered, "I know, and I'm going to get boobs, too."

A pregnant woman was taking a shower and her three year old daughter said,"Mommy, you're getting fat!"And the mother replied,"That because a baby is growing in my tummy."To which the daughter said,"Yeah,but what's growing in you butt?"

Three men were engineers checking a bridge when out of nowhere this masked man pointed a gun at them and said ,"If you want to live,you'll jump off the bridge and you'll survive."Well,the gunman turned around to take his mask off and when he turned around the engineers saw it was a construction worker."April Fools!"he yelled out as water shot out from the"gun".The first engineer looked at him and said,"Tell that to the man who jumped when you had turned around."

One day a man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any corn?" and the bartender says, "No, we only sell beer." The next day the man walks into the bar again and asks for corn but this time the bartender says, "Hey, you are the guy that asked for corn yesterday? If you ask for corn one more time i will nail you to the wall!" The next day the man goes into the bar again and asks, "Do you have any nails?" and the bartender says, "No," so the man says, "Do you have any corn?"

One day there were 3 children that were sent to the head of the school's office. Their names were Fly, Dick and Piss. When they got there, no one was there so Fly hid on the desk, Dick hid under the desk and Piss started to jump around. When the head of the school got there he said "Fly down, Dick up and Piss on the floor!"

FLATTERY - What your kid does when they want something. EAT VEGETABLES - What your kid does when they want dessert. Usually. BEG, CRY, or WHINE - What your kid does when they want something you don't want to give them. CALL - What your kid does when they get a good grade. "FORGET" TO CALL - What your kid does when they do NOT get a good grade. BRUSH TEETH - What your kid promises to do so you will let them eat candy. And then they forget. DRINK MILK - What your kid does after they heat it up and add hot chocolate powder. SPILL WATER - What your kid does when they want to drink soda instead. DROP THEIR LUNCH - What your kid does when they don't like what you made for them. PRETEND TO

There are three men a plane; an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. When each of them flew over their country they dropped an item. When the plane flew over England, the Englishman dropped a rose; when the plane flew over Scotland, the Scotsman dropped a thistle, and finally, when the plane flew over Ireland, the Irishman dropped a bomb.(Yes, Irishmen are crazy!) They then flew over all the countries again, but passing by where they dropped the items. In England the rose had dropped in a bus station and a woman was weeping. They asked, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said in reply, "Well, the Lord sent me a rose but I'm allergic to them." Next, they journeyed over to Scotland. In Sc

This is a fun way to irritate your friends and family on your answering machine! On your answering machine - "Hello?" pause, "What's up?" pause again, "Oh, well you must feel pretty stupid right now because you're talking to my answering machine! So leave a message!" Beep.