Warning - Please DO NOT look at the bottom of the page before you answer ALL the questions 1) What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? 2) What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 3) What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? 4) What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k? 5) What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands? 6) What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat? 7) What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope d

Yo momma's So stupid she put yellow for the answer to the following question: What color is Santa's red suit?

You're about as useful as a bargain hunter in Sears!

1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die from natural causes. 2. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Here are the reasons I'd Like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given time. - Waiting in long lines keeps my domestic brain from going completely idle -- there's so much to learn! - I can catch up on my magazine reading without buying any. - I have time to leave my cart in line and run back to get the 13 things on my list I forgot. - I can be one of those annoying cell phone users and catch up on all my phone calls to my insurance agent, mother-in-law, and Auntie Anne. - I can catch a quick catnap now rather than on the drive home. - I can assess what other people have in their carts and get exciting new

The FBI and the DEA are joining efforts and will be assigning some of their agents to a quasi-FBI/DEA enforcement team specifically targeting the illegal allergy pills sales that occur on the black market. The agents will be called "Pseudo Feds."

Yo momma so stupid she shoved a battery up her butt and yelled I've got the power

Q: What's the difference between a black owl and a white owl? A: White owl: Who who Black owl: Who that who that

Once there was a blond, a red head, and a brunette. They had to tell a joke in order not to go to hell. So the red head goes first: "What do you call a boy going to jail? A Micheal Jackson lover." (not that funny) So she goes to hell. Then the burnette says: "What's the difference between your mama and the blond's mama? The blond's has a bigger chance on giving it up and yours doesn't need any." (not that funny either) So, she goes to hell as well. Finally, the blond says: "Knock-knock! Who's there? God God who? Godzilla!" (not that funny) But, the blond gets in! Why? Because, she used God and didn't notice it.

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about preparing a will. The receptionist suggested they set up a convenient time for the spinster to come to the office. "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?" the elderly woman asked. The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and went to the spinster's home to discuss her estate and the will. The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?" "I have $40,000 in my sav

Q: Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toypen? A: Because she kept sitting on Pinnochio's face saying, "Lie to me, lie to me!"

A man and his wife are in the bed watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" He turns to her and says, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. He replies, "Is that your final answer?" "Yes," she said. He then replies, "I'd like to phone a friend." That's the last thing he remembers. . . .