Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs. yet the mom weighs 30 lbs. more? Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one? Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number? If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who can't walk why do they put them at the end of the bathrooms? Can someone give up lent for lent? Why do people say, "You've been working like a dog," when dogs just sit around all day? If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out? And why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?

Starting from bottom to top, a short explanation of each body parts uses 1. Toe-Object used for balance(do blondes and drunks have toes? Food for thought) 2. Foot-Place in mouth after saying something stupid 3. Shin-Object used for finding furniture in the dark. 4. Pelvic area-pretty self explanatory 5. stomache- stom ACHE... coincidence? I think not. 6. Chest-What I like to talk to. 7.Fingers-Keep away from car doors. 9.Hands... 10. Elbow-I learned to dance after hitting this 11. Shoulder- Common site of burns. 12. Mouth- Place foot here(or other objects) 13. Brain- If you have one you noticed there is no eight. 14.1/2 brain-If you check for it.

1. You don't like newbies. 2.You are #1 on this website. 3. You pretend to know everything. 4. You dislike AC3P1L07 5. You nail people for doing what you did. 6. You yell DUPE if someone you don't know posts anything. 7. Coincidently you only report it if it really is. 8. You received a message from AC3P1L07 saying to f*** off 9. AC3P1L07 hates you. 10. Your user name is ANCHMIKE SO PISS IN SOMEONE ELSES CERIAL, I AM NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH.

1. You don't suffer from insomnia... you enjoy every minute of it. 2. Your pupils are dialated 24/7 3.*You don't have time for a girlfriend and would rather have a talking frog instead. 4. L337 is a common word in your household. 5. The targeting reticle from halo is permanently burned onto your retina... and you love it. 6. You know the correct pronunciation of MJOLNIR. 7. You have a microwave in your room. 8. Your dog can beat your friends at halo. 9. Your pug, 30 pounds over weight can physically kick your butt. 10. You've memorized the entire halo soundtrack.

A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

You might be a Republican if... 1. You have a brain 2. You have morales 3. Your bumper sticker say's "Somewhere in Massachusetts a village is missing it's idiot" 4. You totaly agree with everything Foxworthy say's 5. You bought a shotgun and THEN voted against gun control You might become a republican if... 1. You found a brain 2. You stole someones morales 3. You bought a truck with that bumper sticker and was to lazy to take it off. 4. You're dating a Republicans daughter 5. Actually it was the guy's shotgun that changed you. You might be a democrat if... 1. You have no brain 2. You have no morales 3. Your bumper sticker say's "eye is ejumucated, u shid bee two" 4. You don't know who Hit

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the...?," he said to himself as a little blue dust cloud appeared when he shook them out. "April!" he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?" She shot back, "It's not talcum powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'."

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself. A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears. A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book. A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean. A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call. A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems. A simple

This is not supposed to be funny. I want to make a public apology for the temper tantrum I threw earlier today. I still don't get it but I am sorry for blaming everyone else for my problems. AC3P1L07 P.S. please vote this as funny so more people will see it.

Why did the blonde bring sandpaper to the desert? She needed a map. Why did the blonde bring a car door to the desert? If it got hot she could roll the window down. How did the blonde explain her helicopter crash? It was getting hot so I turned the ceiling fan off. What is the latest health epidemic among blondes? MAIDS. If they don't get one they die. Why did the blonde wear a condom on each ear? She didn't want to get hearing AIDS. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell; She's got a grenade in her mouth. Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in 6

Yo mama's so skinny, when she wears striped PJ's there's only 2 stripes.

A man worked at a gas station out in the middle of nowhere. One day when he was driving home from work, he ran out of gas (how ironic). So the man walks and walks and eventually he comes upon a monastery. He asks a monk at the monastery, "Can I stay here over night? My car ran out of gas." The monk replies, "You may; but you musn't come out of your room between the hours of 12 midnight and 6 am." The man replies, "That's fine with me." The monk takes him to his room, and the man falls asleep. About 12 midnight the man is roused from his sleep by a horrible groaning noise that was coming from the basement. He gets out of his bed to see what it is, but remembers the monk saying that he