Yo Momma so poor, she wore her McDonalds uniform to church.

The Poop Name List __________________________________________________ The Perfect Dump- Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it. The Beer Dump- Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have

What kind of monkey eats chips? A chipmunk!

This is a list of the worst names to have Dick Hurtz Hary Paratesticles Mike Hunt Mike Rotch Anitta Manwhore Anitta Johnson Fuk Yao Ike Anblow Peter Pecker I.C. Weiner I.P. Freely Seimore Butts Bo Oobless Dick Less Issac Less Tits McGee (ok, that was off Anchorman) Ima Hornibusterd Ima Uglibech Ima Dick

Funny Book Titles ========================= 40 Yards to the Latrine by Willy Makeit and Betty Wont 50 years in the saddle by Major Asburn A Bestiary of Plant Eaters: Herb Avore A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel A Great Plenty by E. Nuff A Stitch in Time by Justin Case A Stuntman To The End: Kenny Doitt A Trip to the Dentist by Yin Pain A Whole Lot of Cats by Kitt N. Caboodle Acrophobia Explained: Alfredo Heights Advanced Maths by Smart E. Pants After The Corned Beef And Cabbage: Kay O'Pectate Ah, Thor!: Ty Till All Alone: Saul E. Terry Allegiance To The King: Neil Downe Almost Missed the Bus by Justin Time Ambulance Driving: Adam Muhway Ambush! by May T. Surprise And Shut

A guy walks up to a doctor and asks: "What type of questions do you ask people to decide if they are retarded or not?" "I ask questions like; If you had to empty a bathtub that was full of water, and I gave you a teaspoon, a bucket, and a cup, how would you get the water out?" "Oh I see," the man said, "a sensible man would use the bucket because it is bigger." "No, a sensible person would pull the plug."

"Doctor, Doctor! My friend has only 59 seconds to live." "Don't worry, I'll be there in a minute."

A man takes a day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole, when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it, and is about to shoot when he hears "Ribbit, 9 iron" The man looks around and doesn't see anybody. So he gets ready again, when he hears "Ribbit 9 iron" He looks at the frog, and decides to prove him wrong. He puts away his club, and gets a 9 iron. He whacked that ball, and it landed 10 in. from the cup! He was shocked, and looked at the frog, "Wow, that was amazing" he said "You must be a lucky frog then." "Ribbit, Lucky Frog" The man takes the frog to the next hole. "What do you think?" he said. "Ribbit, 3 wood" The ma

I work at Bed, Bath and Beyond in the 'Beyond' dept.

If to give a man a fish, he eats for a day, but if you teach a man to fish... He has to buy a license, poles, bait, and sit on his behind for four hours.

What Men Want More beer. More cheese. More sex. Vitamin fortified cigars. Public beer fountains. Kitty catapults. All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters. Wet T-shirt Fridays. Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors. Rocket boots. Machine gun camp. NASA space shuttle races. Sledgehammer boxing. Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete arguments. Congressional pie fights. Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero. More beer. More cheese. More sex. Tomahawk missile surf boards. Hot tub jury boxes. Nacho cheese lipstick. Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs. New TV shows: PBS' The BBQ Hour, Tota

Q. How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? A. Hey, let's go ride bikes!