I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. Weird: STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS. No one ever says "It's only a game," when THEIR team is winning. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Is one Nobel Prize so much to ask from a child after all I've done?

There once was an X from place B, That satisfied predicate P, He or she did thing A, In an adjective way, Resulting in circumstance C.

The Armenian Radio was asked: "Is it good to have sex with an open window?" The Armenian Radio answers: "Yes, but with a woman it is better."

A Scottish highlander is asked what his three wishes would be. He first wishes for a lake full of whisky. His second wish is for a similar quantity of good food. When asked for his third wish, after a moment of indecision, he asks for a second lake full of whisky.[2]

The confused protagonist suddenly finding himself in the presence of the genie, who informs him that he has one wish left; he has just used the second wish to completely undo the effect of the first, including his own memory of making it. Undaunted, the protagonist makes his third wish, only to have the genie comment wryly (just before disappearing) that he wished for the same thing the first time.

What do you do when you see a Mexican riding a bike? Throw a stone at him, it's your bike!

Lady on telephone: "Hello sir, I want to meet & talk to you. You are the father of one of my kids." Guy (stunned!): Are you Sandra? No. Jenny? No. Amy? No. Betty? No. Lady (in confusion): "No sir, I'm your son's class teacher."

What's round and hard and sticks so far out of a man's pajamas you can hang a hat on it? His head!

Can you decipher this phrase? cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat Copy cat!

1. Ride on the baggage claim machine and go around in circles, don't leave until security comes. 2. Ride on those carts and pretend you're in the Batmobile. 3. When checking in, and the attendant takes your baggage and puts it into the machine say you left your passport, bag, purse, flight ticket etc. in there, when they take back the luggage, say you found it in your wallet. 4. Ask for Snerples while on the plane and insist you must have one. 5. Ask where the airport is in the information stand. 6. If you are sitting next to a kid on a plane, point out that you just saw a UFO come by. 7. When the plane is airborne, tell the flight attendant you got on the wrong flight. 8. Pretend to

This is the worst joke ever. Give it no smiley face.