Two babies were born in the same hospital on the same day and ended up in adjacent basinettes in the nursery. Eighty-five years later, by coincidence, each of them is admitted to the same hospital with a "terminal" diagnosis, and they end up in the same two-bed semi-private room. And one of them rolls over and says to the other "So, what did you think?" Thanks to Steven Wright

Who composed the Unfinished Symphony? Sherbet.

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife/girlfriend told you to do it?

Let's test your IQ............. 1. man ----------- board Ans. man overboard 2. stand ----------- i I understand ok?....get the drift? Let's try a few now & see how you fare. 3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/ Reading between the lines 4. r road a d Crossroad 5. cycle cycle cycle Tricycle 6. t

1. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley's Comet can be seen. During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen. 2. US Dollar bills are made out of cotton and linen. 3. The "57″ on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of pickle types the company once had. 4. Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world's garbage annually. On average, that's 3 pounds a day per person. 5. Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels. 6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn't digest itself. 7. Ninety-eight percent of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the

Is One Foot Enough??? A girl in the U.S. lived very far away from her mother. One day, the girl became engaged but discovered her fiance had only one foot. The girl, surprised sent her mother a letter asking for advice. The letter began, "Mother, my husband has only one foot..." The mother upon receiving the letter was confused on why that was a problem. She immediately wrote back to her daughter saying, "Dear, one foot is enough. your father has only 7 inches!!!"

汤姆教授有事，无法教下午的课。于是去教室黑板上写了个通知： Prof. Tom will not meet his classes this afternoon. 有个调皮的学生看到后，想跟教授开个玩笑，把classes前面的c擦 掉了。 汤姆教授中午路过教室时又顺路进去了一下，忍不住笑了，随手又 擦掉了l。

For the first time in many years, an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents." "Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "you're really going to enjoy yourself - we have sound now."

Almost two hours into the Clemens and McNamee hearing, some interesting quotes can be found. (Credits to Yahoo! Sports, and 'Duk) • "Mr. Clemens bled through his designer pants." • "Mr. Clemens, do you recall any bleeding through your pants in 2001?" • "Those little band-aids for his butt, if it bled." • "Mr. Clemens, according to your account, Mr. McNamee injected your wife in your bedroom without your knowledge." • "That said there was a palpable mass on the right buttock of Mr. Clemens. On another record, it also noticed a similar mass on the left buttock." • "That was a hurried instance when we were in the closet."

Give me food and I will live. Give me water and I will die. What or who am I? (Scroll down) A fire

This Chinese man asks this guy what he does for a living. The guy says, 'I'm a comedian.' The Chinese guy says 'No, u no camedien!' The guy says, 'Yer, I am, honest.' The Chinese guy says, 'No, you're not, ploove it, change coror!' (He says it like chameleon)

9 = diagonals of a hexagon.