Popular Jokes
To support his wife and 11 children, Charles Stephens, 58-year-old "Demon Barber of Bristol," needed more money than he could make giving shaves and haircuts. Even his sideline as a daredevil, performing high dives and parachute jumps in England, barely helped cover the bills. He needed something big, something to make his reputation. There was nothing bigger and more daredevil-ish than going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Only two people had ever done it, and lived [check fact].
It didn't matter that one, Annie Taylor, was living in abject poverty or that the other, Bobby Leach, was trying to talk him out of using his heavy Russian oak barrel without first sending it on a test run. Leach'
Pat and Mick decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Pat gets called in for his interview.
The boss asks Pat if he had worked underground mines before, and Pat replies, "Yes, of course I have."
The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked, and Pat says, "Oh, about 8 to 10 feet." The boss says, "Mines are a lot deeper than that; get out of here - you're no miner!"
On his way out, Pat tells Mick to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job.
Mick gets called in. The boss asks Mick if he had worked underground mines before, to which Mick says, "Oh sure."
The boss asks how deep undergroun
Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me."
The Texan lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"
The lady from Mississippi continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."
Again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"
The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."
Yet again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn'
Due to insufficient activity and a measly community, it has been decided that Wocka shall be merged with Braingle.com, the sister site of Wocka but with brain teasers. The decision was not an easy one, and there has been long discussions with Jake in both the Braingle and Wocka forums. The discussion was so heated that even Braingle's debate forums could not equal it. However, consensus was in favour of the merge and there's not much you can do about it.
The following measures shall be taken:
1) All Wocka users now have a Braingle account. If they've already had one before, then their Wocka score is added to their Braingle score. Jake has made sure that the passwords of every Wocka and Brai
The other day, after what felt like five days of after-school detention, I hailed a taxi - it was almost six, jeez. I opened the door and stepped inside. Making myself comfortable in the back seat, I told him my home address, without caring who the cabbie was.
I sank into the seat, with a kind of uneasiness. What would mum do? Ground me for the next ten years? I checked my watch every fifteen seconds, and watched the traffic shooting by.
About halfway down the road, the dumb cabbie slowed suddenly. Damn you, I thought. Before I could say anything, the cabbie turned to me.
For a moment, I was frozen with fear. The cabbie was not half like anyone I'd seen before. His hair was the colour of
there was a man who lived in a small town who did not talk much to his neighbors. the only thing they knew about him was the fact that he always had the precise time, because every day at 3:00 pm (no later, no sooner) he took a walk, and came back at exactly 3:30 pm (no later, no sooner). this man was always so perfectly on time that everyone set their clocks to him, including the clock tower. one day one of the man's neighbors walked up to the old man and asked, "how do you keep your clocks so precise?" "simple," replied the old man, "i just set it to the old clock tower."
who's clock was set off whose?
What is the secret of success?
"push" said the doorbell
"never be lead" said the pencil
"Take panes" said the window
"always keep cool" said the ice
"never lose your head" said the drum
"make light of everything" said the fire
"be sharp in all your dealings" said the knife
"find a good thing and stick to it" said the glue
# 16 Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a fifty thousand-word novel, "Gadsby," without any word containing the letter "e."
# 17 In a year, the average person walks four miles to make his or her bed.
# 18 In the first century, people used to drink goats milk to sweeten their breath.
# 19 In many of the milk ads that are shown, a mix of thinner and white paint is used instead of milk.
# 20 It is possible to get high by licking a toad. The Cane Toad produces a toxin called bufotenine to ward off predators. It acts as a hallucinogen.
# 21 In Las Vegas, casinos do not have any clocks.
# 22 There is a restaurant in Stockholm that only offers all-garlic products. They even have a garlic cheesecake.
# 23
Bob: I'm going to go ride my spaceship.
Jack: What's a spaceship?
Bob: Dunno, I'll go invent it.
-Archimedes, you are late again. Don't tell me that you were locked again in the bathroom.
-Copernicus, when will you understand that you are not the center of the world?
-Galileo, if you will drop stones from the top of the tower one more time, you will be dismissed forever.
-Kepler, till when will you stare at the sky?
-Newton, will you please stop idling away under the apple tree?
-Volta, I can see you have a lot of potential.
-Ohm, must you resist Ampère's opinions on current events?
-Nikola Tesla, I see that everyone is attracted to your magnetic personality.
-Einstein, a crocodile is greener or is it wider?
-Schrödinger, stop abusing cats!
-Heisenberg, when will you be sure of yours
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