Popular Jokes
FIRST QUESTION: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
SECOND QUESTION: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
THIRD QUESTION: Very tricky maths. Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Take 1000 and add 40. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
FOURTH QUESTION: Mary's father has five daughters: Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Q1: If you answered that by overtaking the second person you were first, you were absolutely wrong. If you overtake the second person and take his p
Catherine, a RN, was unhappy with her job, so she submitted her resignation. She was sure she'd have no trouble finding a new position, because of the nursing shortage in her area.
She e-mailed cover letters to dozens of potential employers and attached her resume to each one. Two weeks later, Catherine was dismayed and bewildered that she had not received even one request for an interview.
Finally she received a message from a prospective employer that explained the reason she hadn't heard from anyone else.
It read: "Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the vegetable lasagna recipe."
In the USA they go ice skating.
In Canada we go skating; we just assume it will be on ice!
Of a swimmer
Saw four sharks,
Off the coast.
Three he missed,
One almost.
Tight Rope Walker
Used no net,
Knew no fear.
Made mis-step,
Wound up here.
Novice farmer
Here lies Clyde,
Whose life was full.
Until he tried,
To milk a bull.
Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure his wife's away!
Boyfriend: I'm going to buy us some condoms.
Girlfriend: Why? You can't fit all that in one!
Boyfriend: You barely fit in a bra!
Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke?
A 2-year old boy, a 12-year old boy, and a 26-year old boy.
Do you know which one I want to have?
The 26-year old for nothing but length.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest its self.
The largest fish is the whale shark-it can be over 50 feet long and weigh 2 tons.
The only continent without native reptiles or snakes is Antarctica.
Blood Circulation
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
Little Johnny shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty."
A group of people were sitting and having coffee. Suddenly, a friend of the mathematician of the group boomed in and said, Did you hear that? A mathematician has developed a theorem which says that every odd number higher than 2 is a prime. So, here are the thoughts of every person in the room.
The Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is not a prime. Theorem disproved!
The Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime,...
The Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is practically a prime, 11 is a prime,...
The Programmer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime,...
The Sales
Can you decipher this phrase?
Weather Cast Cast Cast Cast
Weather forecast!
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