Popular Jokes
This is the conversation from "That 70s Show" when Fez first "does it." Note: If you have never seen the show, these are, you guessed it, teenagers.
Fez: Knock-knock.
Kelso: Who's there?
Fez: I did it!
*Everyone claps*
Kelso: Wait, wait, I wanna hear this. I did it who?
Eric: Wait a minute...this isn't like the time you bought a hamster, named it Virginity, and lost it?
Fez: No, this is the real thing.
Kelso: You know, I had a hamster once. I tied him up to a helium balloon with a note, made it all the way to Minnesota.
Eric: Alive?
Kelso: No, I'm going to send a dead hamster up in a balloon.
Eric: So, come on, tell us all about it.
Fez: Well, it was incredible. Nina and I started off kissi
You know your are in Alaska when you go to court and they ask you where you were on the night of October to April!
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you.
I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, she's pregnant and Barbara said that we will be very happy.
Even though you don't care for her as she is much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for o
A guy gets home from work one night and hears a little voice. The little voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." The man is disturbed at what he hears and ignores the little voice.
The next day, when he gets home from work, the same thing happens. The little voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Again, the man ignores the little voice, though he is very troubled by the event.
Every day, day after day, the man hears the same little voice when he gets home from work, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Each time the man hears the little voice he becomes increasingly upset. Finall
TRUE STORY
My boyfriend decided to invite me over to his home one day.
When I arrived, I was hoping we would be alone. When I got in, it was dark, except for the room we were in and I couldn't hear any noise, so I guessed we were.
We started to make out until he grabbed my hand and brought me upstairs, covering my eyes and saying; "I have a surprise for you, why don't you make yourself a little more comfortable."
Of course, I took that as a hint that he wanted sex, and he left saying he'd be back in five minutes.
So I took off my clothes, sitting on his bed. Five minutes later, he called me to come out into the room next door to his room. I walked out proudly and walked into another ro
The old Lord of the Manor was finally on his death-bed, and had called his servants to his bed-side.
To his butler, he said, "Jeeves, you have been with me now for nearly 40 years, and for your loyal service I shall leave you Ashley Hall, with its 74 rooms, and a 100% pension." "Thank you, your lordship," said Jeeves.
Turning to the house-keeper, "Jurby, you have been in my employ for 25 years, and for your excellent running of the house, I leave you Grantley Hall with its 42 rooms, and a 75% pension." "Thank you, your lordship," said Jurby.
Finally, he turned to the chauffeur, "Parker, you have been with me now for 6 months, and in that time you have crashed my 1912 Rolls Royce, blown up
A quite sobered-up drunk is at Sunday mass listening to a long boring sermon. Feeling still hungover and tired, he finally nods out hoping no one will notice. The priest has been watching him all along and at the end of the sermon, decides to make an example out of him.
"Who in this room would like a place in heaven, please stand up," he exclaims. The whole room stands up, except, of course, for one. Obviously displeased, he now says loudly, "And he who would like to find a place in hell please STAND UP." The man, catching only the last part, groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing up. Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, Fathe
An Irish guy was digging a hole in his front lawn, when his neighbour walks by and says, "Hey, Patrick, what are you doing?"
"Digging a hole," said Patrick.
"What's wrong with the hole next to it?" said his neighbour.
"That one wasn't deep enough," said Patrick.
Home
