The woman in a theatre box-office was surprised one evening just before the show at the behavior of one man. He bought a ticket, went away, and then returned a few minutes later to buy another one. He went away again, returned and bought a third ticket. Then he went away yet again, returned and bought a fourth ticket! By now the show had started, so the woman in the box-office said "I hope you don't mind me asking, but why do you keep coming back and buying more tickets?" "Every time I try to get in to the auditorium," he replied, "some jerk takes my ticket and tears it in half!"

Ok. I honestly saw this on a billboard: Illiterate? Call this number to learn how to read.

Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with two black sheep under each arm? A: A pimp

An anagram, as we all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following examples are quite astounding! Dormitory - Dirty Room Desperation - A Rope Ends It The Morse Code - Here Come Dots Slot Machines - Cash Lost in 'em Animosity - Is No Amity Mother-in-law - Woman Hitler Snooze Alarms - Alas! No More Z's Alec Guinness - Genuine Class Semolina - Is No Meal A Decimal Point - I'm a Dot in Place The Earthquakes - That Queer Shake Eleven plus two - Twelve plus one Contradiction - Accord not in it The Public Art Galleries - Large Picture Halls, I Bet Astronomer - Moon Starer This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare] To b

Girliepie has one that is really embarrassing! I tell it from her point of view - It was the next to last day of school and I was walking in the hall with my friends. I saw my friend Jacob a few feet away from me, so I decided to say hi. We always play around, so I went up behind him and put my arm around him and said, "Hey sexy". He turned around and looked at me and it wasn't him! It was some kid I've never seen before in my life! My face turned beet red!

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime

G: Jokes rated G are acceptable for everyone. No bad language and no violence or sexual references are in these jokes. PG: These jokes are suitable for most children. Mild violence or language may appear in these jokes. PG13: These jokes may contain some bad language or violence. Some mild sexual content may also appear in these jokes. R: These jokes contain foul language and sexual or violent content. You can go to "My Account"---"Edit Account" and filter out jokes you don't want to see.

You can report duplicates once you get 100 points. For every duplicate that you correctly report, you get 10 points. You can also help by verifying duplicates that other users have reported. For every verification, you get 1 point (regardless of whether you vote yes or no). If you vote for a duplicate that you reported you DO NOT get any points. If you report 2 duplicate jokes and 1 of them is yours, you DO NOT get any points.

Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages. Windex Do not spray in eyes. Bowl Fresh Safe to use around pets and children, although, it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet. Toilet Plunger Caution: Do not use near power lines. Dremel Electric Rotary Tool This product not intended for use as a dental drill. Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter Safe to use around pets. Endust Duster This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances. Baby Oil Keep out of reach of children L

There was a teenaged girl name Amanda, who just stepped out of the shower. She wrapped a towel around her body, and went into her room. She was very excited because her long time crush, Jason, was coming over to have dinner. She turned the radio on and her favorite song was playing, so she started to dance and sing. When the song was over she stopped dancing and realized that her towel had come off. She looked towards the door and saw that it was open, and Jason was standing there.

A sucessful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana. After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude, he hears the drumming of hoofbeats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle he challenges the man riding up on the horse. "Hold it, neighbor," the man says, "I'm your neighbor, I have a ranch only six miles from here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I'm throwing for you next Saturday. There's going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing, drinking, fighting.... We'll have a great time." Not wanting to be unneighborly the n

Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?? V V V V V V V V V V V V V V He loved it, but it scared the heck out of his dog.