Popular Jokes
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
"Every day I live with fear, but occasionally I leave her and go drag racing."
"I like to snatch kisses and vice versa."
Seen on an attractive and busty brunette: "Size DOES matter!"
Seen on a different attractive and busty brunette: "We could mate ...(picture of black widow spider) ... but then I'd have to kill you."
Seen on a very overweight guy in a parking lot: "I beat anorexia."
"Goal Of A Bitch: To dominate, control and destroy a man's finances, mental health, self-esteem and any hope for happiness." Seen being worn by one.
Which word is the odd one out?
seventy
brawl
clover
proper
carrot
swing
change
travel
sacred
stone
Carrot.
Each of the other words remains a real word if you remove the first and last letter.
The teacher told one kid, "You're going to flunk this subject because you haven't finished your homework assignments." The kid said, "Good. I flunked all the other ones because I'm stupid."
Joe figured out a way to remember his wife's birthday and their wedding anniversary. He opened an account with a florist and told him to send flowers to his wife on those dates, along with a note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by the attention, and all was great until one anniversary. Joe came home, saw the bouquet, kissed his wife, and said, "Nice flowers. Where'd you get them?"
Once there was a large group of mexicans who made a club called the I love Mayonnaise Club. And they made this club days before the titanic set sail. And on the titanic there was a large, large case of mayonnaise. And later when the titanic sank, this group was very sad so they formed a holiday called "Sink-o Da-Mayo"
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