This Australian truck driver is looking for a long distance driving job in Adelaide. He gets offered a job driving a load of bowling balls to Darwin. He's not too keen on this, but he needs the money and so takes off. A while along the highway he sees two Aborigines with a bike, in the middle of nowhere, so he stops and asks if they would like a lift. They say OK. The truck driver says, "All right, hop in, but you'll have to ride in the back." A 100 km down the road he stops at a truck stop, which amongst other things, involves a load inspection by the local cops. He is asked where he is off to and he says, "Darwin". The cops go round the back, open the doors, slam them shut quickly and rush

What's grosser than gross? A pile of dead babies in a trash can. What's grosser than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What's grosser than that? He has to eat his way to freedom. What's grosser than that? He goes back for more.

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, ''If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'' With even greater emphasis he said, ''And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'' And then finally, he said, ''And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'' Sermon complete, he then sat down. The song leader stood very cautiously and announced, "And today we will let someone in the crowd pick our closing song." A Alabama man raised his hand and said, "Fer are closin song, we gonna sing dat one Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather at the River.'''

In the first book of the Bible, Guinness's, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is to humour thy father and mother. The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the

19. How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle? Shine a torch in her ears. 20. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them. 21. How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? There's white-out on the screen. How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? There's writing on the white-out. 22. What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once. 23. What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagen? Far-from-thinking 24. What did the blonde think of the new computer? She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9. 25. Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? (With a rocking

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How do you tell a blondes been using your computer? There's whiteout on the screen

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the bulb has got to WANT to change.

2 blondes are walking in the park and the 1st blonde says, "LOOK! Dead bird!" The 2nd blonde looks up into the sky and yells "Where?!"

Why did the first blonde president move out of the oval office? She couldn't find a corner to put her stuff in.

How many little brothers does it take to change a light bulb? Three- one to hold onto the bulb and two to turn the ladder.

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"