Popular Jokes
This is an addition to one of my previous jokes, "Viola Jokes" http://wocka.com/17112.html. Now, instead of just viola jokes, here are several different instrument jokes.
PIANO JOKES
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano onto an army base?
A: A flat major.
Q: Why is an 11-foot concert grand piano better than a studio upright piano?
A: Because it makes a much bigger "kaboom" when dropped off a cliff.
FLUTE/PICCOLO JOKES
Q: How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune?
A: Shoot one.
Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"
The
"What I saw, it was burned into my mind forever."
"Well, that explains the red markings on your scalp."
Yo mama is so dumb each time she hears Obama's name on tv she throws her hands in the air + ducks for cover Yelling OH BOMB A WHERE?!?!?!
(I'm ringing up a customer and notice her last name is the same as mine. I have a very uncommon last name, so I made the mistake of mentioning this...)
Me: "Your last name is [name]? Mine, too. Wonder if we're related?" *chuckle*
Customer: *very serious* "What is your name?"
Me: "Oh, I was joking, we're not related; almost all of my family lives up in New England."
Customer: *more serious* "What is your name?"
Me: "Uhhh...I'm noâ"
Customer: "Do you have a brother named [brother's name]?"
Me: "Yes, actually..."
Customer: "Is your mother [mom's name]?"
Me: "Uh, yeah..."
Customer: "And your father's name is [my estranged father's name]?"
Me: "Well, he's my biological father, yes."
My friend's mom is so fat I was upstairs and when she fell I ran down screaming, "EARTHQUAKE!"
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandw
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