There was a blond walking down the street, and she saw an empty coke can on the floor. So she picked it up and handed it to lost property.

Knowledge cannot enter the head via an open mouth.

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -strong, caring, loving. They'd be wrong, but you could still use them.

Anybody can win. Unless, of course, there happens to be a second entry.

It was the first day of school and I had gotten a serious scrape on my knee so I asked my friend Jesse to write down notes for me while I went to the nurse. Now, it was the first day of school and there were no notes written on our notebooks and neither of us had written our names on them, so when I came back the next and asked him to give me back my notebooks, he couldn't tell which was mine and which was his, so we both decided that we'd take either one. Near the end of the school year Jesse got in trouble for stealing my notebook. After he got in trouble (with 3 days detention) I asked him why he stole my notebook. He showed me a small note on the back of what we had thought was his noteb

There once was a bus staion named Ureliar (You-Really- Are), a man went to the station and waited for his train, he waited and a man came up to him and said,"Hey,my name is Emabuthed (I'm-A-Butt-Head), what's the name of the station?" "Ureliar?" replied the man.

Can You Decipher This Phrase? knee light light Neon lights!

What is a chicken's favorite type of joke? The human who crossed the road!!!

Sleepy just ran back into the house after reading the newspaper and exclaimed, "Everyone! Everyone, the Pope is coming to town this weekend!" Grumpy replies, "Great! Now we can ask him the question!" The weekend rolls around and they stand in line to speak to the pope, it's finally their turn and they send up Dopey and await for him to ask the Pope their question. "Umm... Mr. Pope, do... Do they have nuns in Alaska?" asks Dopey. "Well, I do think so, yes they do, son," replied the Pope. "Tell the rest tell the rest!" yelled the other 6 little annoying midgets. "Umm... do, do they have black nuns in Alaska?" asked Dopey. "Well.. I don't see why they wouldn't, so yes, they do." replied the

Yo momma is so old, she has toys made in America.

A boy was assigned a job to do a list of spelling words for his class. The boy asked the teacher what spelling words to do. She replies "Ask your family for help if you can't think of anything." So the boy went home to ask his family for any help. "Mom, can you give me a spelling word for my list?" the boy asked. The mother was so busy on the phone, that she told her son to shut up. The boy thought "Shut Up!" was the word that his mother gave him. So he wrote it down, and walked along to his sister's room. His sister was on the computer, reading about a diary out loud. The boy asked the same thing to his sister, except this time, she replies with "Whatever.." So the boy wrote it down, and

A blonde's boyfriend, planning to stop at the bakery says, "I'm going to go pick up a blondie. I want a smoking hot fresh one." The blonde replies, "Well, then we're over. Go ahead and get a new girlfriend. A nice blondie!"