Team has no "I" in it, but it does have a "M" and "E" in it, making "me".

Knock knock. Who's there? Guess. Guess who? What, I don't know.

Rabbi Zwi Chaim Yisroel, an Orthodox scholar of the Torah and a man who developed whining to an art unheard of in the West, was unanimously hailed as the wisest man of the Renaissance by his fellow Hebrews, who totaled a sixteenth of one per cent of the population. Once, while he was on his way to synagogue to celebrate the sacred Jewish holiday commemorating God's reneging on every promise, a woman stopped him and asked the following question: 'Rabbi, why are we not allowed to eat pork?' 'We're not?' the Rev said incredulously. 'Uh-oh.'

I've often started off with a lawyer joke, a complete caricature of a lawyer who's been nasty, greedy and unethical. But I've stopped that practice. I gradually realised that the lawyers in the audience didn't think the jokes were funny and the non-lawyers didn't know they were jokes.

Russian company: You have two cows. You drink some vodka and count them again. You have five cows. The Russian Mafia shows up and takes however many cows you have.

A man goes into his doctor's office to learn the results of some tests and immediately the doctor greets him by saying "Well Sam, I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" Sam decides on the bad news first and his doctor tells him "Sam, I'm very sorry but you have pancreatic cancer. It's inoperable and you will die within the next 2 months" "That's absolutely horrible! What could possibly be the good news?" "Well you see that beautiful receptionist out there?" "Yeah?" "I'm screwing her!"

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens weren't invented yet.

Yo momma was so fat, I was surprised that she could even jump!

- How to make a blond busy ? - Put her in a circle room and tell her to find a corner.

Yo mama's so fat that when she took her first step everyone thought there was an earthquake.

Ever since Rhianna got dumped by her boyfriend, she put all the stuff that was his or made her remember him she put : " to the left to the left... in the box on the left..."

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace". When the friend found out, she became angry and called the florist to complain. After she had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry she was, the florist said. "Madam, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new location".