Popular Jokes
There was a child who came back from school one day with loads of cuts and bruises and his bike broken. The concerned mother asked him what had happened. So, the child says "Well, when the fridge landed on me..."
I think - therefore I'm single. (Lizz Winstead)
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. (Margaret Thatcher)
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. (Elayne Boosler)
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. (Dolly Parton)
I'm not going to vacuum 'till Sears makes one you can ride on. (Roseanne Barr)
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? (Linda Ellerbee)
If you are in darkness, then pray to God.
If you are still in darkness, then go and pay your electricity bill......
Seen on a bumper sticker:
"IF CLINTON IS THE ANSWER, THEN IT MUST BE A STUPID QUESTION."
Seen on another bumper sticker:
"CLINTON HAPPENS."
Two five year-olds, one Jewish, the other Catholic, are playing in a sandpit. Sean says to David, "Our priest knows more about things than your rabbi!"
To which David replies, "Of course he does, you tell him everything."
1. You get mad when you don't find a fly in your soup.
2. You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly.
3. French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you.
4. Bug lamps appear to you as a curse.
5. On applications, you list 'Pond' as your home address.
6. Kermit is your idol.
7. You get mad whenever Miss Piggy makes a pass at Kermit.
8. Have seen the movie 'The Fly' at least ten times.
9. You live in fear that some day you will wind up in a child's aquarium.
10. France is the evil empire to you.
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