Popular Jokes
1. You yell and scream for help, and when it comes you ask for the remote.
2. It is a workout to play high intensity video games.
3. You decide to be a republican because you bought a truck with a republican sticker on it.
4. You sell your step-brother's stuff on e-bay for video game money.
5. You've hired someone to laugh at these jokes for you.
6. You shop online even though it's more expensive because you don't want to leave your house.
7. You died of a preventable illness because going to the doctor would take actual work.
8. You've hired someone to sleep with your wife because it's to "hard".
9. You have the sofa in the back of the Guiness 2000 book.
10. You, your wife, and kids all liv
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.
In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.
In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.
In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.
In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their
A young blonde stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.
That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint job. An empty check stub later, and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?
At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car coasted to a stop. She got o
Yo Momma is so ugly, that when she met the ugliest man on Earth, he shrieked in terror and jumped out the window.
I have learned to not jump out the window with a towel as a parachute.
..never throw a boomerang if you don't know how to catch it.
..don't fly a kite while facing towards the wind.
..don't throw a cat on a dog.
..never leave a three year old alone with duct tape and glue
..don't let a friend make you laugh while eating unless he/she knows the heimlich maneuver.
..don't ditch school if you don't know the way back home
There was a stupid boy named Max. His dad wanted to see what he would do if he gave him a dollar, so Max's dad gave him a dollar the next day. Max was so excited. As he walked to school that day, the dollar in his hand, a little girl came up to him and said, "I will give you 2 shiny quarters for that dollar." Max figured that 2 was better than 1, so he willingly traded. When Max reached the school, a little boy came up to him and said, "I'll give you 3 dimes for those 2 quarters." Max traded again. Then his teacher came up to him, and knowing that he was so dumb, asked him to trade his 3 dimes for 4 nickels. Again, he traded. As Max was walking home from school that day, a old man came up to
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