Three men are sitting next to a dead guy. The first one can only say, "Yup! Yup! Yup!" The second one can say, "Forks and Knives. Forks and knives." Finally, the third one can say, "Goddie, goodie gumdrops! Goodie, goodie gumdrops!" A cop comes by and asks the first one if he killed the man. Unable to say anything else, he says, "Yup! Yup! Yup!" Then he asks the second man, "What weapons did you use?" The second man says, "Forks and Knives. Forks and knives." Astonished, he is taken back for a second and then tells them all that they will go to jail. The third man tries to plead, "Goddie, goodie gumdrops! Goodie, goodie gumdrops!"

If you would like to link your web site to Wocka.com, please freely bookmark or add links to any page contained within this web site provided that this site does not appear inside any frames.

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship; she goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds; Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. 3. I take my wife everywhere; but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands; if I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She complained "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't r

A guy goes to a fancy French restaurant. He's feeling adventurous, so he decides to order the squid. He is told that they are kept alive in a small aquarium in the restaurant, so that they are really fresh. As he's ordered squid, he can choose which squid he would like to eat! He goes over to the aquarium and sees the squid swimming around. There's one squid that looks really sick - it's gone a strange shade of green, and even has strange fuzz growing around it's mouth. The guy is kind of grossed out, but he thinks - this poor squid - it looks really miserable, and no-one's going to choose it! Maybe I should put it out of its misery. So he asks the head chef - Gervaise - to cook up t

Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about. 1) Can you cry under water? 2) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 3) What disease did cured ham actually have? 4) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 5) Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? 6) Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? 7) Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? 8) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? 9) I

You take me out way too much!!! Do you think this dress makes me look too slim? You looked stressed out, let me give you a massage. Go out with your friends tonight, you deserve it. That Pamala Anderson has a lovely body. No, no you buy me too much already. A fake diamond will do. My mother is a real old wench. What headache?

Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight? There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear. If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this? 70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' w

At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly, until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle. The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward, why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."

Bob was propped up against a palm tree and acting so calmly it drove Joe crazy. "Don't you understand?!? We're going to die!!" Bob replied, "You don't understand, I make $100,000 a week." Joe looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, "What difference does that make?!? We're on an island with no food and no water! We're going to DIE!!!" Bob answered, "You just don't get it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a week. My pastor will find me!"

I don't get why we teach little kids the popular saying "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye." And we wonder what is with all the violence? I mean come on that's like 100% emo.

Q - Why do women have nipples? A - Because, if they didn't, boobs would be pointless

One time, my teacher said to dump our Math books. Then she said to get your Social Studies book. Then that became history.