A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said," That was incredible!" He said, "I used to b

What does a Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Jose and Josbe

Before setting off on a business trip to Tulsa, I called the hotel where I'd be staying to see if they had a gym. The hotel receptionist's sigh had a tinge of exasperation in it when she answered. "We have over 300 guests at at this facility" she said.   "Does this 'Jim' have a last name?"

A guy took his girlfriend to the movies. During the pre-views, she asked him if he would go and buy her some M & Ms. When he returned with her candy, she opened the bag, picked out all the brown ones and threw them away. "What did you do that for?" he asked her. "I'm allergic to chocolate!" she replied.

Dear _______________, I really like you. I was wondering if you would like to go out with me. Please check one of the boxes below: ___ Yes ___ No ___ No, I already have a girlfriend, sorry ___ Yes, if you don't tell my girlfriend ___ No, I am already fathering a child ___ No, I'm gay Love, ______________ *written by clueless_chic*

Yo mama so fat people jog around her instead of the block, for a LONGER run!

Q: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how many lightbulbs need changing.

Yo momma so stupid she went to commit suicide and tried to jump out her basement window.

You know you're addicted to Wocka.com when... 1.) You have dreamt of Wocka in your sleep, and have actually made up a joke in your sleep. 2.) You've added people to your buddy list JUST to see the last time that they've logged in. 3.) The top username in the rankings is your idol. 4.) You have a notebook filled up with all the jokes you've made up. 5.) If you get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, you just HAVE to check how your new joke is doing, along with reading a "quickie" joke. 6.) You know the Wocka point system by heart. (hmmmmm) 7.) As you read this list, you're thinking about forwarding it to your friends. 8.) The only way that you keep in contact wi

Here are the Top 15 excuses for if you are pulled over by a police officer for speeding, running a red light, etc. 15.) Sorry, I slipped on a banana peel... 14.) Oooohh, you're a policeman? I thought you were just another speeder! I was trying to get away so you wouldn't hit me! 13.) I'm sorry officer but Dunkin Donuts is right ahead, not here. 12.) I'm sorry officer, but I already have a date. 11.) (For Americans caught speeding in Canada...), say, "What's a kilometer?" 10.) "So THAT'S what those signs are for!" 9.) I'm sorry I was speeding officer, but I have diarrhea. 8.) If I was speeding, you were probably speeding to catch me, so how about we forget about the whole thin

A man had parked his car in the supermarket parking lot and was walking past an empty cart, when he heard a female voice say, "Mister, are you using that cart?" "No," he answered..."I'm only after one thing." As he walked away he heard her murmur, "Typical male."

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.