Modern Day Letter From a Girl to Her Crush

Dear _______________, I really like you. I was wondering if you would like to go out with me. Please check one of the boxes below: ___ Yes ___ No ___ No, I already have a girlfriend, sorry ___ Yes, if you don't tell my girlfriend ___ No, I am already fathering a child ___ No, I'm gay Love, ______________ *written by clueless_chic*