A blond was stuck on an island. She could not get off, but there was an interesting structure on the island that intrigued her. It was a building with a small hole running through the bottom of it, and a bit away from it was a small hole, about five inches in diameter. She realized that there was no food on the island. She was stuck there for two days when the intendent came out and said, "Ma'am, the pedestrians here would appreciate it if you would get off of the Western Golf Course for awhile."

What did the blonde say to the red head? Nothing. She couldn't remember what she was going to say!

The manager of a large office noticed one of his department heads had hired a new man, so the boss called him into his office for a little orientation speech. "What is your name?" he asked. "John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last names only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. John Darling." "Okay, John, the next thing I want to t

A blond employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. "The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says. "Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password." "Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me!"

A guy goes to his doctor and says, "Doc, I have a problem." "My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday." "I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all." The doctor says, "You know 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a row is pretty dangerous for any man. I will give them to you on the condition that you return to my office on Monday so that I can check you out." The man says, "You have a deal Doc." Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling. The doctor asks, "What happened"? The man answered, "Nobody showed up!"

Why is a blond, Blond? Isn't it obvious? They're dumb.

1 Why did God create brunettes? So ugly men wouldn't feel left out 2 Why do brunettes like their dark hair color? It doesn't show the dirt 3 Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? It matches their mustache. 4 What do brunettes miss most about a great party? The invitation. 5 What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette? Gay, married, or a hostage.

1 What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been spotted. 2 How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. 3 What's the blonde's cheer? "I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well... 4 What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? Change. 5 How does a blonde moonwalk? She pulls down her panties and slides her butt along the floor!

Thanks for being a part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before this! Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, I would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again. Someday I hope to get married, but not to you. Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that are bigger than mine. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!

What happens to a scone when you have eaten it? It's scone.

Yo momma's so ugly, yo daddy had eye surgery TO REMOVE HIS SIGHT!

The farmer's son was returning from the market, with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden, the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood, scooping up the wayward birds, and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. "Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them." "Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."