Hell on Friday

One day, John dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he meets the demon. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?" John: "What do you think? I'm in hell!" Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?" John: "Sure, I love to drink." Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer...We drink till we throw up and then drink some more." John: "Gee, that sounds great!" Demon: "You a smoker?" John: "You better believe it." Demon: "Allright! You're gonna love Tuesday. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!" John: "Golly" Demon: "I bet you like to gamble." John: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it." John: "Wow!" Demon: "You like to use drugs?" John: "Well, I love to use drugs. You don't mean..." Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can use all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!" John: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!" Demon: "You gay?" John: "Uhhhhh, no!!" Demon: "Ohhhh.... you're gonna hate Fridays...."