Popular Jokes
A little nine-year-old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.
"Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?"
"No," her mother replied.
"Well, I think I have to throw up!"
"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."
In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat.
"Did you throw up?" her mother asked.
"Yes," the little girl replied.
"Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?"
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy," the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."
He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."
"Well, then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close properly."
To which he replies, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have a Westinghouse logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."
"Fine," she says, "Then, would you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're a mess and a real hazard."
"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like
See if you can find the hidden image in the group of characters below. It takes some concentration, but it's worth it.
Don't cheat by scrolling down before you look at it. Have fun!
You'll be surprised when you see what it is...
{{{{{{{===**++++*****+++++++++++????????/// //////////%\\\
@@@@@444+=+=****&^"""""}}}|||||||]]]
xxxxxxxx>>>>>>xxxxxxxx
~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~
====||\\/////////*****{}{}{}
%%%%%%%%%%%%
$$$&&$$&$$===~|~|~|~|====++
Most people find it easiest to put your nose right up to the screen, then slowly back away while continuing to stare.
If you still do
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he en
This will warm your heart, just when you have lost faith in human kindness....
Dear Safety Harbor Middle School,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears.
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead...
And when she was good,
she was very very good,
But when she was bad
she got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo and a sports car.
#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for one when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friends handgun and tell him so, he'll probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you keep another handgun for backup.
#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A handgun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And, the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman
#1 - You
Q: What does the tooth fairy give for half a tooth?
A: Nothing. She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth
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