Popular Jokes
"Mario, I am in so much pain right now I can barely sit. Leave the mushrooms for the adventures and out of the bedroom."
"Fine Princess. Yoshi, let's go."
"No, no...Yoshi can stay."
Some old school insults for yall...
You depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
So dumb you couldnt hold water in a bucket.
Happiness: seeing your picture on a milk carton.
Your mouth rarely makes calls to the brain.
Missing a layer of insulation in your attic.
You're so fat, when you turn around people throw you a welcome back party.
You're so fat, you have to put a belt on with a boomerang.
You're so slow, you have to speed up to stop.
You're so fat, when you go to the zoo elephants throw peanuts at you.
The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Alright, I'm gonna save the rest.
How women think about sex:
At 8, ignore it.
At 18, experience it.
At 28, look for it.
At 38, ask for it.
At 48, beg for it.
At 58, pay for it.
At 68, pray for it.
At 78, forget it.
An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."
*** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."
*** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.
*** POOF ***
There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyo
Ever wonder why your ears are where they are?
Just think, if they were on your butt, you would have to pull down your pants to hear what I'm saying
--REDD FOXX
A blond and a red-head were planning to go to an amusement park.
When they got to the park the blond asks, "who will pay, You or me?".
So the red-head says, "I'll tell you what, you'll pay for entrance, and I'll pay for all the rides." (The rides don't cost anything at all!)
On a very busy high way there stood three images. Santa, The easter bunny and a smart mexican. Well who crossed the street first?
None
There is no such thing as santa, the easter bunny, or a smart mexican.
Yo momma ain't got no hands.
And yo dad ain't got no eyes.
Yo momma said i'm goona slap the shit out of you.
And yo daddy said i'd like to see that.
Home
