Subject: Students' rights during examinations Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued: Proctor: I beg your pardon? Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale. Proctor: Sorry, no. Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale. At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):

Two buzzards were eating a dead clown. One said to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

When the body was first made all the parts of the body were fighting to see who would become the boss of the body. The fight for power was most intense between the limbs, the brain, and ..... the asshole. The limbs said they should be boss because they control the human, and without them the body was useless and couldnt move or do anything. The brain said it should be boss becauses it has to control the whole body and without the brain nothing in the body would function, neither the limbs or the asshole. The asshole said simply, "I'm the boss." The brain and limbs laughed at him. The asshole was so mad he closed up and the body became constipated. The brain couldnt think straight and be

Q:What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church. On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly. "This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is grey (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)..." The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised. "And it jumps from branch to branch (

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know, it has never happened.

How many paranoids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What exactly do you mean by that?

2 men were out camping. At about 3:00 one man had to go to the bathroom. There were no toilets around and the men had no toilet paper! The man took a crap in the forest, but then had noting to wipe his butt with. He asked his friend what to do, and his friends said to wipe his butt with a 1 dollar bill. 5 minutes later the man came back with crap all over his hands. The friend asked what happened and the man said, "I didn't have a 1 dollar bill, so I used 4 quarters!"

There were three kids named My, Butt, and Stupid. They were pretty dumb and didn't know the word and. One day, they were playing ball on the sixth floor. Then, suddenly Stupid dropped the ball out the window. My jumped out the window to get the ball, while Butt tried to jump out the window to catch My. Stupid saw that the two of them fall out the window and ran down the stairs. When he got down, he saw a policeman looking at My and Butt. The policeman asked "Son, what is your name?" Stupid answered "I'm Stupid!" The policeman said "You're not stupid, son, now do you know what happened here?" Stupid answered "My Butt fell out the window!"

(I know some people may not consider this a joke but it is still funny, the results at the bottom are funny to! ENJOY!) Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of your answers down, it makes a difference! You will be allowed 10 minutes to complete the test. Write your answers in the spaces provided. Are you ready? What is the time? Start. 1) Some months have 30 days,some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days? ____________________ 2) If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills had been taken? ____________________ 3) I went to bed at eight o'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set

- "Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?" - "Been there, slain that." - "What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?" - "They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know." - "When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched." - "Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chamber floor." - Wench: "What's that sound?" Knight: "That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding." - "Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!" - "Your hovel or mine?" - "Pardon me, madam, but wouldst thou like to see my long sword in acti

To: Professor _______________ From: ____________________ I think my grade in your course, ___, should be changed from ___ to ___ for the following reasons: __1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did. __2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did. __3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into: __Medical School __Graduate School __Dental School __Fraternity/Sorority __The Mickey Mouse Club __Tri County Tech __4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in ______. __5. I'll lose my scholarship. __6. I'm on a varsity sports team, and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam for me. __7. I didn't come to