Medieval Pick-Up Lines

- "Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?" - "Been there, slain that." - "What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?" - "They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know." - "When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched." - "Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chamber floor." - Wench: "What's that sound?" Knight: "That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding." - "Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!" - "Your hovel or mine?" - "Pardon me, madam, but wouldst thou like to see my long sword in action?" - "Dost thou practice safe hex?" - "Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within." - "I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart." - "You should be glad I'm not a Viking." - "You would have been ravaged and plundered by now." - "I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!" - "Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?" - "You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!!" - "I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?" - "My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it." - "I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and...er...PUNISH me, now won't you?" - "You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Rapunzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down." - "I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady." - "C'mon, sweetie...didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away." - "I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?"