Popular Jokes
I had four cappuccinos at one time. I was bouncing off the walls. Good thing they were padded.
In Midtown Manhattan a police officer arrives at the scene of what appears to be a bad accident. A pedestrian is lying in the crosswalk. The driver of the car under suspicion says, "I swear I didn't touch him! I saw him at the crosswalk, I came to a complete stop, motioned for him to cross, and he fainted."
Did you hear about the sailor who died, and wanted to be buried at sea by his 5 blonde daughters?
His daughters all drowned digging the grave.
A Hole in the Bucket by Lee King
Long Walk by Miss. D. Bus
The Playground by C. Saw
Fitting Carpets by Walter Wall
Around the World by Sir Cumfrence
Flexibility by Ben Dover
Bladder Controld by Idon P. Freely
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
" I don't know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.
The beautiful, vain blonde was visiting Las Vegas for the first time. She approached the roulette wheel, but it looked very confusing.
"How should I bet?" she asked the man standing beside her.
"Try betting your age," he suggested.
So the blonde put $500 on the number 32. The ball landed on 36, and the blonde promptly fainted.
The following were actually published,
-Include your children when baking cookies!
-Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
-Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
-British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
-Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
-Dinner Special --
Turkey $2.35;
Chicken or Beef $2.25;
Children $2.00.
-For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
-For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur col
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Maybe someday we'll find Bigfoot.
A Licensed Counselor was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...
"You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."
All the boys and girls in Mrs. Dovers class are drawing. Mrs. Dover came over to Tommy and said, "What picture are you drawing?" Tommy said, "A cow eating grass." "Ok, where's the grass?" "The cow ate it all." "Ok, where's the cow?" "He went to go look for more grass."
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