Tom: I've got a great knock-knock joke. Bill: Ok, let's hear it. Tom: You start. Bill: Knock-knock. Tom: Who's there? Bill: ???????????? (dumbfounded)

Former First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks. Hillary says to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his pecker." Janet responded. "Just because I am considered ugly, doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances." Hillary asks, "Well how do you deal with the problem?" Janet: "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest, fart I can." Well, that night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary headed

How many feet does a black rooster have? How many wings does a black rooster have? How many heads does a black rooster have? How many hairs are on the back of a white cat? Why is it that you know more about a black cock rather than a white pussy?

Yo mama is so stupid, when I told her to turn on the tv, she started stripping.

A juggler who was driving to his next performance was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. "I juggle them in my act." "Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!"

You might be a redneck if you've never stayed in a hotel without stealing something

If we quit voting, will they all go away? It's been lovely but I have to scream now I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on disk somewhere Boldly going nowhere Don't be sexist -- broads hate that Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal. How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good samaritan and take him home." The man takes the drunk out the door, and to his car, and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car, and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man. The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"

Matt: I bet you can't spell "I cup." Sarah: I C-U-P Matt: Eww! You see me pee!

An older couple are playing in the annual golf club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses; they lose the match. On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, "I can't believe you missed that putt! That putt was no longer than my 'willy'." The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said, "Yes dear, but it was much harder!"

What's the difference between a wife and a prostitute? Prostitute is cheaper!

Q: Why do blondes insist on guys wearing condoms? A: So they'll have a doggie bag for later. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A: "Are you sure it's mine?" Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus? A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, the other is a walrus Q: What does a blonde say after she graduates from college? A: "Hi, welcome to McDonalds." Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year's hide and seek champ. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A space invader. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone. Q: Why did the blo