The running water in Singapore can be drunk directly. So when I get thirsty, I go to the toilet and drink. But how to make a bowl of instant noodle? A girl thinks: "Since the running water can be drunk directly, the water from electric bathing machine also can!" So she use the water from bathing machine to make instant noodle.

A kid was at school when his male teacher was passing out alot of homework. The teacher was named bob. Mr. Bob said ''no help from your mom''. The kid named josh ask ''why can't we have help from are mom ''.Mr.bob replied '' your mom probally be very busy tonight so I will call your mom to make sure you want''.So he decided not to ask his mom for help on his homework. when he got home Mr.bob called his mom. She went to her room. When she got in there was a loud noise and he went in there to see what was the matter.mr.bob was sitn there with his mom.And affter a while mr.bob said ''did you finish your homework''.

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes, Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later, the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes o

If at first you don't succeed ... avoid skydiving.

Yo Mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her dad said, "Yeah! Let's go bury it!"

Knock knock. Who's there? Someone too short to ring the doorbell.

A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks, "This guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch. The patron takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender, "I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!" Still unimpressed, the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch. The patron takes a sip...same reaction. But the bartender still doesn't believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch. Again, same reaction from the patron. Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours the patron a glass of 12-year-old scotch. The patron takes a sip and is most satisfied. All the wh

A burglar had just broken into a house and was stealing anything he could get his hands on. Then he heard a voice. It said, "Jesus is watching you." Thinking its in his head he continues on his business. Then he hears it again, "Jesus is watching you." The burglar not very religious but still scared says, "Who are you?" Then he flipped on the light not caring if he was caught by the house owners. All he sees is a parrot in the corner. The parrot then says, "Jesus is watching you." The burglar asks the parrot his name. The parrot replied, "Satan." The burglar laughs and says, "Who would name their parrot Satan?" The parrot says, "Same person who would name their rottweiler Jesus."

A drunk is in the bar and crying uncontrollably. The man beside him asks him what's wrong. The drunk says, "I forgot what my wife told me, she said if I went out drinking again she'd divorce me and take the kids." The man says, "Well don't go home yet. It's only 6 p.m. Walk it off" The drunk replies, "GREAT IDEA!" Then he barfs all over his shirt, and now he is crying even more. The man says, "Look... you got 20 dollars on you?" The drunk hands him $20. The man puts the bill in the drunk's shirt pocket and says, "When you get home, tell your wife that some drunk stumbled out onto the street, bumped into you and puked on you. And he gave you $20 for the dry cleaning." The drunk is so happy n

After successfully passing the bar exam, a young man opened his own law office. One day he was sitting idle at his desk when his secretary announced that a Mr. Jones had arrived to see him. "Show him right in!" the lawyer replied. As Mr. Jones was being ushered in the lawyer had an idea. He quickly picked up the phone and shouted into it "...and you tell them that we won't accept less then fifty thousand dollars, and don't even call me until you agree to that amount!" Slamming the phone down he stood up and greeted Mr. Jones, "Good morning, Mr. Jones, what can I do for you?" "I'm from the telphone company," Mr. Jones replied. "I'm here to connect that phone."

When Eve was first created, she had 3 breasts. She asks God, "What shall I do with this extra breast?" And God created Adam.

Every Sunday 3 boys would go to church and confess. So the first boy went up to the priest. The priest says "What have you done bad in your life son". The boy responds with "I've swore to my mother." The priest says,"Take one sip of holy water." The second boys goes up to the priest and the priest asks, "What have you done bad in your life son?" The boy responds with, "I've stolen something". The priest says "Take two sips of holy water." After every sip the third boy is laughing his head off. So the third boy goes up to the priest and the priest says, "What have you done bad in your life son" The boy responds with, "I peed in the holy water."