ஆசிரியர்: பெருசா ஆனதும் நீ என்ன செய்ய போற?மாணவன்: கல்யாணம் செஞ்சிக்குவேன் சார்..ஆசிரியர்: அத கேட்கலடா..நீ என்னவா ஆகா போறே?மாணவன்: மாப்பிள்ளையா ஆவேன் சார்..ஆசிரியர்: அதில்லைடா..பெருசா ஆனா பிறகு நீ எதை அடைய போற?மாணவன்: ஒரு பொண்ணை அடைவேன் சார்..ஆசிரியர்: முட்டாள்...பெருசா ஆனா பிறகு உங்க அப்பா அம்மாவுக்காக என்ன செய்வ..மாணவன்: வீட்டுக்கு ஒரு நல்ல மருமகளை கொண்டு வருவேன் சார்..ஆசிரியர்: முண்டம்..உங்க அப்பா உன்கிட்ட என்ன எதிர் பார்ப்பார்?மாணவன்: ஒரு பேரனோ பேத்தியோ சார்..ஆசிரியர்: சுத்தம்..உருப்பட்ட மாதிரி தான்..

Yo Mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo, and the zookeeper said "I didn't know an animal had escaped."

What do you call the skeleton of a blonde you find in a closet? 1950's Hide-n-seek champion.

A doctor who works at the mental hospital wants to take his patients out to a baseball game seeing as they're so well behaved. He goes to his colleagues and asks them if it's ok. They don't want to let him take them in case they misbehave or do something wrong seeing as they're complete nutcases. But the doctor wants to show them that the patients are really good. So he brings them in and says, "Sit Nuts." And all the patients sit. He then says, "Stand Nuts." And all the patients stand. He then says "Talk Nuts." And they all start chatting. The other doctors are impressed and agree its ok. So they go to the stadium and the doctor leaves to go get snacks. When he comes back out everyone i

A little girl and her mother were out and about when, out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older." The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up." The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now." The little girl, fr

Little Jimmy bit his fingernails all the time. His parents tried everything to get him to stop, but to no avail. Finally, his mother, exasperated, decided to tell him a little white lie to get him to stop. "Jimmy," she said, "You'd better stop biting your fingernails. If you don't, then those fingernails will pile up inside your stomach and soon your stomach will be huge and full of fingernails." Jimmy, worried about the idea of fingernails in his stomach, agreed to stop. The next day, Jimmy and his mom were shopping in a supermarket. They went to check out, and a pregnant woman was waiting in line in front of them. Jimmy beamed at the pregnant woman and said, "I know what YOU'VE been do

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Gimmee a break lady! Your daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged an screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and thre

You hear crack is illegal and you pull up your pants. Someone yells "Hoe Down" at a dance and your wife falls to the floor. You use newspapers for more than 3 uses in your home. Your family tree is a wreath. If your home is mobile but the 4 cars in your yard are not. Your father gave you this advice, "If you can't keep it in your pants, at least keep it in the family." The last thing relatives say before they die is, "Hey Ya'll! Watch this!"

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you. 3) Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachie." 4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom." 5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as often since you did this. 6) While sitting at your de

Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A: A sweater with pockets

No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth. Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you-or holding you in his arms. Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!) During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless th

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair, in a well lit place, with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Check your email. 3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand. 4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 5. Check your email. 6. Stop off at another floor on the way back, and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you her paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop her. 7. When you get back to your room, sit in a s