Popular Jokes
There was a woman who came home from work. She had a very long day and just wanted to relax. Just as she was about to sit down, the phone rang.
"Hello?" she said as she picked it up.
"Are you married?" the voice said.
"Who is this?" she asked.
No answer. She hung up the phone.
Just as she was about to sit down again, the phone rang.
"Hello?" she said, picking up the phone again.
"Do you have children?" the voice said.
"Who the crap is this?" she said
No answer. She hung up the phone.
Just as she was about to sit down AGAIN, the phone rang AGAIN.
"HELLO?!?!?!" she yelled, "Now this is it, if you don't tell me who you are, I am going to call the police!"
"Ma'am you seem frustrated, w
BOB- It's Friday the 13th. Do you have any superstitions?
GEORGE- I think it's unlucky to have superstitions.
Everybody who has a dog calls it something like "Rover" or "Spot" or "Bruno" But I thought I'd call my dog "Sex."
Now my dog, Sex, has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too". Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said that I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with us. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the hote
A kid was at school when his male teacher was passing out alot of homework. The teacher was named bob. Mr. Bob said ''no help from your mom''. The kid named josh ask ''why can't we have help from are mom ''.Mr.bob replied '' your mom probally be very busy tonight so I will call your mom to make sure you want''.So he decided not to ask his mom for help on his homework. when he got home Mr.bob called his mom. She went to her room. When she got in there was a loud noise and he went in there to see what was the matter.mr.bob was sitn there with his mom.And affter a while mr.bob said ''did you finish your homework''.
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine-year-old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine-year-old replies, "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking, the cashier responded, "Well, they must be for your sister then?" The nine-year-old responded, "Nope, not for my sister either."
The cashier had now become curious. "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister -- then who are they for?"
The nine-year old says "They're for my four-year-old little brother." The cashier is surprised: "Your four year-old-brother?"
The nine-year-old explains: "Well
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.
Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart c
Sign at an office kitchen:
After the tea break, the staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the drain-board.
One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.
"Yes!" he says looking and sounding relieved, "This is very important."
Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper. Then her boss says, "Thanks, I only need one copy."
A guy receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the upper corner of the stadium; he's closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter he sees through his binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sits down he ask the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man says no. Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, he again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incr
Home
